Vegan Rosh Hashanah Happened...

Tonight.

K and I went to an elaborate dinner hosted by the lovely L and T, who have glitter ceilings and enough chairs to throw a 10 person dinner party (dinner parties at my apartment would max out at three).  They prepared a vegan feast with food quantities that would rival your Thanksgiving dinner (if your turkey was homemade tofurkey).

Though I am quite a secular lady, I identify with the Christmas Crowd when it comes to religious holidays so I had a lot to learn.  I (think) I picked up the basics:  Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year.  The Jewish (or Hebrew?) calendar counts days from sunset to sunset instead of midnight to midnight.  At sundown it is kind of like New Year's Eve, but without the kissing.  On Rosh Hashanah you visit temple, enjoy a lot of food and drink, and have 10 days to atone for your sins before Yom Kippur.  FYI: You don't get a lunch break in temple on Yom Kippur because it is a fasting day.

For dinner I had:

1. Mashed potatoes with gravy.
2. Challah (pronounced HOLLA!) bread with raisins.
3. Seitan.  Kind of like a non-meat meatloaf made from wheat gluten.
4. Pasta salad.
5. Kugel. Non-egg egg noodle kugel.  It was kind of a sweet, deserty lasagna.
6. Apples with Agave.

For dessert there was ice cream, mango sorbet, bread pudding, pear pie, and wine pie.  But I had...

The vegan chocolate chip cookie of course.  I mean...look at that chocolate chip to cookie ratio!

Vegan Rosh Hashanah was wonderful.  I tried new foods, made new friends, told stories about my second graders, and laughed a lot.

   

Tuesday is for Bowling

Remember the time I violated several social mores in less than two hours?

Last night I went bowling...as a substitute for an adult, Candlepin bowling league with people from work.  (For you non New England folk:  Candlepin bowling is 10 skinny pins and a tiny ball...not to be confused with big-ball-bowling a.k.a. Duckpin bowling.)

For the last 10 years of my life, any and all bowling has consisted of late nights spent at The Cove (what up Nawaka) drinking drinks and tossing big balls down blacklit, cosmic alleys.  While I haven't been baby ball Candlepin bowling since middle school I thought I would give it a shot.  How hard could it be?

Well.  This was a bowling league.  Sadly, there were no matching polo shirts and K and I were the youngest people by at least 15 years.  To start, there was no automatic scoring system.  I made an older man friend who taught me the finer points of Candlepin scoring.

I also learned that there are A LOT of rules for bowling.  Like don't use the blue balls (because someone brought them from home), don't bowl when the person next to you is bowling, don't step over the line, don't aim for the pins, don't get a frame ahead of your competition, don't throw the ball, take three steps, left leg first, keep your hand flat, ring the bell when you get a strike, knocking pins down with the gutter pins doesn't count, release the ball like you are patting a child's diapered bottom (advice from my old man friend) and don't tell the other teams that you actually bowled 6 balls without knocking down a pin when your scoring sheet only says you bowled three.

The first game I bowled a 44.  Yes.  I bowled 30 balls and knocked down 44 pins.  But I got better!

And despite my overall suckiness, I was invited back...although they said something about a handicap.  Hmm.

Also...do you like how I added 12 + 9 and got 31?  Yes, I teach math to second graders.

   

The Big Elephant in Blogland...

a.k.a. The J-O-B.

A long while ago I alluded to a job that I had procured.  Well it is true, I am a contributing member of society once again.  While I wish I could tell you that I landed my dream job teaching 4th grade...I can't.

I am working as a special ed. paraprofessional in a small (i.e. one-school) town.  This means that I spend my day in second grade providing extra support for a few students while also doing a lot of clerical (read: photocopying) work.  It is not my ideal job by any means.  The kids are too young...the school is too small...I am not in charge.  But I am making it work.  I like the people I work with and while the work is quite tedious, it gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning (and hopefully some networking possibilities).

I am so ready to just be a teacher.  I'm going to be awesome.  I just need to find my way into a classroom.  This job is a step down from being a classroom teacher with a salary hourly rate that reflects that.  I am not psyched that I am going to turn 29+1 working as an aide but it is what it is.  I am trying to make the most of it.  I smile a lot.  I offer to help anyone with anything.  I make A LOT of photocopies and I'm going to teach myself how to use a Smart Board...so there's that.

   

It's Friday Friday

TGIFMF!*

Cereal.

Work.

Lunch.

Work.

"Drink 'Till We're Besties" happy hour(s) with new work friends.

?

?

LOTS of sleeping!

* Thank God it's Friday Mother Fuckers Thank Goodness it's Friday My Friends

    

I Love Me Some Run-On Sentences

Today is Wednesday.

But I wish it was Thursday.

And just a little while ago I THOUGHT it was Thursday.

But it's Wednesday.

And I know I keep promising that I will start blogging with some regularity again and then I keep NOT blogging with some regularity.  But I'm trying to work on that.  Which is why I am typing this quickly while ignoring the broccoli cooking on the stove.  FYI: I am just making dinner at 8 pm because after school today I had a silly meeting about how bullying is NOT a crime but is somehow related to the prosecutor/presenter's friends making out at a wedding after a few too many cocktails.  Yeah...me neither.

After the silly meeting I watched The Town which was good.  It had action, suspense, and heart. <---Reason why I am not a movie critic.  But if you haven't watched it you should.

Also, I signed up for Google+.  But...I don't get it.  It's kind of like Facebook but not. And last night I accidentally invited 50 people to my England circle...some of which I've never met but Google pulled their email addresses out of a group email for a pub crawl.  So yeah...sorry to be creepy, random people I've never met.  (P.S. How dare you embarrass me like that Google!)

I made a list of things to blog about but that is as far as I got because if you know me, you know I procrastinate like my life depends on it.  So maybe, eventually, you'll get to read about exciting things like my job, my 30 before 30 list, or my missing camera charger.  

But for now you get rambling, random thoughts with lots of questionable grammar.

Gotta run...I've probably cooked all the nutrients out of the broccoli by now.

   

Lots of Cupcakes

A cupcake for baby ONE YEAR OLD M!

A cupcake for Everyday Brother who is never going to leave Virginia ever again.

And a cupcake for my ginger friend O who is now almost 40 just like me.

Most people's morning routine:  Shower, coffee, read the paper, go to work.

My morning routine:  Shower, cereal, read blogs, go to work.

Except this morning I skipped the shower step (don't judge...I'm taking second graders hiking today and will shower before I go out tonight to celebrate the aforementioned ginger.)

So I had a few extra minutes this morning to throw together a blog that masquerades as a belated birthday celebration but is actually a long winded and public justification of my personal hygiene habits.

OH!  AND!  With my extra minutes I watched Lady Gaga's You and I video because the song has been stuck in my head (stop laughing at me).  And OMG she just gets more and more strange.  If you want to ruin your day see the video click here.  Now I have to go hike with second graders with visions of mermaid Lady Gaga stuck in Texas Chain Saw Massacre while her child-of-the-corn self makes out with her dude self on the piano.  Seriously.

Also...now I'm late for work.  Oops!

    

Midwest Recap: Episode 3

The impetus for my Midwestern adventure was R's wedding.  After spending 3 days in Michigan and 2 more in Chicago we watched R don a lacy number, wear a crown, and get married.

Between the ceremony and the reception we stripped down to jeans and summited Sears Willis tower via elevator.  We got back into our super fancy party clothes for an amazing reception.  FYI: I missed the DRESS LIKE A MERMAID memo! 

We ate a multiple course menu that took me from this:

to this:

via this:

After dinner R & S danced a fancy dance (and later the Hora).

As the night wore on, there were drinks, dancing, and awesome photography skills.

There was also a not so covert elevator trip to the 11th floor of the Rookery.

When the reception ended the after party commenced in our hotel bar.  But first we wrote THE BEST LETTER EVER to M & J (who had a 6 am flight home)...

and delivered it quite stealthily (and hopefully quietly) to their room.

We took a midnight jaunt to a 24 hour Subway for Chip Fest 2011

and returned to a feathered party dress and homemade Romanian moonshine.

Congrats to R & S on a beautiful ceremony, a fabulous reception, and an exciting new life together!

    

Midwest Recap: Episode 2

Let's see...we left off in Michigan.  Chocolate, beaches, and blurry, white-girl rapping.

On Thursday we drove to Indiana to hop the train to Chicago.

Then we hit Chicago...hard.  We did Navy Pier.

Buckingham Fountain.

Navy Pier 2.0.

The Architecture Tour.

Marilyn.

Deep dish!

Sears Willis Tower (squeezed in between the ceremony & reception.)

The Bean.

Popcorn (caramel and cheese...mixed.)

Art Institute Steps (to eat the popcorn...obvi.)

And lots of fancy hotels.

Chicago was kind of a blur but kind of wonderful.

Episode 3 coming soon...really soon!

    

10 Points...

...to the first person who can identify this:

okay, okay...scroll down for another clue
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Midwest Tour: Episode 2 coming tomorrow!

 

Midwest Recap: Episode 1

I've been home from my Midwestern tour for a week now and I think I have finally had a chance to process everything.  At times it seems like the trip never happened.  I had been looking forward to it for an entire year and though we enjoyed every single second together, it seemed to be over as soon as it had begun!

Now...I'm sure you've been waiting on the edge of your seat to view all 400+ photos of the Midwest but I will spare your corneas and give you the Cliff Note's version.

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After zero hours of sleep on Sunday night, I got up at 4:30 am to make a sunrise flight to Detroit, Michigan.

Found M waiting for me at baggage claim and together we went to find my name twin...instead we found free cupcakes!

Eventually A found us!

We trekked across the middle of the mitten to Kalamazoo where we toured and ate and drank.

On Tuesday, we headed to Holland (MI not The Netherlands) to frolic in the ocean-like waves of Lake Michigan.  We stayed at the most gorgeous cottage ever and walked miles on the beach.

On Wednesday, we toured a tourist town and ate lots of chocolate

Yes.  Those are chocolate covered potato chips.

climbed a mountain

and took a dune ride which was less dune buggy and more sand roller coaster.

We ate, we drank, we were merry.  And we drove around on a golf cart in the rain.

Our last night in Michigan we had an amazing sunset

and watched from the pier as the thunderheads gave us a lightning show.

to be continued...


   

In Short...

August:  Lazy then awesome.

Michigan:  Looks like New England.

Indiana:  Skip it.

Chicago:  Like Boston's big brother.

Rehearsal Dinner:  Delicious.

Flight Home:  Cancelled.

New Flight Home:  Chicago to Richmond to Newark to Boston on Tuesday.

Wedding:  Beautiful.

Sears Willis Tower:  Really tall.

Reception:  Gorgeous.

Dancing:  Fabulous.

Sleeping:  Limited.

First Day of School:  Missed.

Actual Flight Home:  Chicago to Manchester on Monday.

First Week of School:  Done.  And yes I need 4 days off after a 3 day work week.

Amy:  Exhausted.

September:  Back to blogging.  No really.  Yes, I know I promised this before.