Let's Talk About American Healthcare*

I never told my anonymous blog stalkers, but this summer I started training for a half marathon. The plan was to walk/run 13.1 miles in October in Maine. But jumping into training and wearing flip flops for months on end caught up with me and left me with a nagging case of posterior tibial tendonitis.

After two urgent care appointments, I was referred to orthopedics for plantar fasciitis. One month and a hefty copay later, the orthopedist (who is only there Monday mornings) referred me to physical therapy for plantar fasciitis. One month of PT later and she re-referred me back to orthopedics with tendonitis.

On Monday I went back to the orthopedist. He told me I need to wear a walking boot for four weeks. But his office didn't have any in stock. So he sent me to the cast office (across town) with a prescription for a boot. Yesterday I picked up the boot and brought it home, only to find it dug into my calf so badly that I had a bruise within a half hour. I womaned up and returned today. The casting guy went to a different office (in the same complex) to get me a new boot. Then he had to cancel yesterday's boot and walk me to the new office to do the insurance paper work.

Well...even though the new office is in the same complex, and my referring doctor works there, they refused to give me a boot without a referral from the original office. Could the referral/network/insurance system be ANY MORE COMPLICATED? (Chandler Bing reference.)

To top that off, the boot (which costs $60.00 on Amazon) costs $425.00 from the doctor's office. And insurance won't cover it until I reach my deductible...which after all the copays I've paid I must be almost there. But my insurance did notify me that I can have a baby for only $638.00 out of pocket. I have to pay hundreds of dollars to deal with a tendon but I can bring a life into the world for not much more!

So here is my lovely space boot that costs half a month's rent:

SO FANCY!

*I'm aware that compared to others this is a very minor inconvenience but there has to be a better way to do things. It's no wonder people go bankrupt so quickly after receiving medical care.

An Open Letter

Dear Apartment Management,

Let me preface this by saying THIS IS MY LAST WEEK OF SUMMER VACATION and I'm trying to enjoy every single bit of it.

So imagine my regret when I answered the phone at 6:30 pm on Sunday night (I foolishly thought it might be about a job interview...on Sunday night I should have known better) and you told me you'd be here in the morning to do something to my water (I'm still unclear)...and I agreed.

Like any person enjoying their last days of vacation, I was up until 6:20 AM and dutifully set my alarm for a few hours later. I thought about just sleeping and ignoring any phone calls and/or knocking. But that would inevitably cause me anxiety and guilt. So I dragged my sleeping self out of bed, picked up the laundry, washed the dishes, and put on pants for my water testing visitors.

AND THEN, the phone rang just 5 minutes after they were supposed to be here (not too bad for apartment fixer people). But it was just you telling me that they WERE NOT coming. Are you kidding me?!

You then wanted to reschedule for Wednesday of this week. I told you that I might not be here as I might be out enjoying my last days of vacation. You claimed to understand and said, "well this is important to us but you need to do what you need to do."

Yes. Yes I do. And I don't need you to affirm that I'm allowed to leave my apartment.

Look, I understand this is a first world problem, and this absolutely wasn't the first blog post I'd write since taking a six month hiatus, but let's me real: I'm really just an 80 year old curmudgeon in a 30-something's body. ← Writing 30-something nearly gave me a panic attack. That is another post altogether.


XOXO,
Amy


P.S. As always, stay tuned for part 2: Will Amy be home on Wednesday for the water testing people?



   

PLC does not stand for Personal Liability Claim*

This year, I'm taking a graduate course offered by my school but not for graduate credit. Yes. I'm wondering about that too.

While the next class isn't until the first week of October, two assignments are due tomorrow. RUDE! So of course I waited until the last minute to do stuff. And the school email server is down which means that I'll be working on this REALLY last minute tomorrow. Oops!

I'm spending time at my favorite place for studying: Barnes and Noble with my first latte of the season. I know buying a latte in September violates my goals but I had a gift card that covered half of it and I paid for the rest in quarters...so it doesn't really count.

The class is Professional Learning Communities and the first chapter of the book talks about how students do their best learning by doing...hence the title. But I'm learning by reading instead. 

P.S. The class is being taught by the wife of my former high school band teacher. Small world. 

P.P.S. I almost wrote high school teacher instead of high school band teacher because I was unsure about sharing my band geek status with the internet world. But then I thought, I'm a grown up now, I should be proud of my musical prowess geekiness.

*PLC means a lot of things.

  

N is for Networking

Being a teacher means spending the spring and summer searching for a job for the following school year (that is until you find a permanent position that offers professional status).

With the job search comes stress, paper cuts, cover letters, resumes, more paper cuts, more stress, and the most awful part of it all...networking. 

Now I am not a natural networker. I prefer not to bother others and ask for favors and make small talk and be chummy. Actually, I prefer not to interact with adults at all if I can help it. THERE IS A REASON I SPEND MY DAYS WITH TINY HUMANS. 

But today, I sucked it up and emailed an old graduate school professor. See...there is this job that I want A LOT. Like more than anything. Like it's probably the most perfect job for me ever. So I tried to put my general awkwardness aside and network like a grownup.

I may or may not have called my mom and Googled "how to network to get a job" before sending the email. <---I did.

   

On Taxes

It may be uncouth to discuss money but it's totally acceptable to bitch about taxes right?

The cliff notes version is this:

• The government is still screwing with me for being unemployed.
• I have to pay the IRS so much money this year.

The long story is this:

• In 2011, I was unemployed for 9 months. I collected unemployment for 8 of those months.
• No taxes were taken out of my unemployment.
• No one ever told me I should be paying estimated taxes on that money.
• In 2011, I didn't have health insurance for 9 months.
• In Massachusetts, you are required by law to have health insurance or you are monetarily penalized.
• The penalty is cheaper than the health insurance.
• To get off unemployment, I took a full time job where I make LESS than I did on unemployment.
• They charge a penalty fee when your taxes are too high.

So...I had to pay tax on 8 months of unemployment with only 4 months of a crappy wage to balance it out. I had to pay a penalty to the state of Massachusetts for not having health insurance even though I never sought any medical services in those 8 months. I have to pay a penalty because my taxes were too high so the government assumes that I was at fault for filling out a W-4 incorrectly. (I didn't I was just unemployed!) 

In the end, I owed $2000ish. It's a good thing that I won my unemployment hearing back in February and was awarded the money unemployment still owed me...because that is how I am paying my taxes.

To clarify: Government Part A owed me money. I had to go to a hearing at Government Part B to prove I was owed that money. Government Part C delivered that money to my house. Now I have to use Government Part A's money to pay Government Part D's taxes on said Government Part A's money. 

_______________________________________

Dear Government A, B, C, and D,

I am well aware that I was unemployed but do you have to keep kicking me while I'm down? Don't get me wrong, I like roads and schools and stuff but it doesn't feel great to empty my bank account while your "people" have so much money that they can hire people to get them out of paying taxes.

XOXO,

Amy

P.S. Please don't spend my tax money on hookers...I'm looking at you Secret Service.

  

Being A Grownup...

Means buying your own Easter basket.

Reese's PB eggs, running socks, and nail polish FTW.

Happy Easter!


   

On Being A Grownup

Now that I am officially a grownup, life has tested me with a series of "grownup" tasks. In the past week, this is what I've learned:

• Being a grownup means being woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of water rushing out of your bathroom ceiling.
• Being a grownup means learning to deal with awkward situations like hanging out in the middle of the night with your landlord in your pjs.
• Being a grownup means calling your landlord in the middle of the night instead of your dad.
• Being a grownup means doing things that scare you...like calling the gym and asking if they found your rings that you took off and left on a machine to avoid finger calluses.
• Being a grownup means taking care of business...like representing yourself at your unemployment redetermination hearing and hoping for the best in the face of a grumpy DUA employee who won't look you in the eye or stop talking long enough to listen.
• Being a grownup means it's okay to reward yourself for surviving scary situations with hot chocolate from Starbucks.
• Being a grownup means driving to the gym to see if just maybe, someone turned in your rings. (P.S. someone did and I've never been so happy! My Celtic braid ring has 9 lives. I lost it at a bus stop once and after an entire day of classes I found it on the side of the road.)
• Being a grownup means understanding that sometimes to fix a leak the ceiling must be removed.

Being a grownup is exhausting.

     

I Am in the Twilight of My Youth*

It's Birthday Eve! My last night as a twenty-something. <---That is kind of a BIG DEAL! Although what is even more of a bigger deal is that by turning 29+1, I am actually beginning my 4th decade on this planet!

In case you were not aware, I've been anticipating freaking out about this birthday for the past year 10 years of my life. I always assumed that by 29+1 I would be settled in a career, married, a property owner and possibly thinking about having kids. Instead, I find myself still figuring things out...on all fronts. And...this may surprise you...but I think I'm okay with that.

I've always done things at my own pace, in my own convoluted way so why would I think major life decisions/milestones would be any different? I'm slowly coming to accept the fact that I should not compare my life circumstances to others and certainly not against a number. <---Evidence of me growing up!

Tomorrow, I officially become a grownup. Remember that Britney Spears song, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman"? Well tomorrow, I move from the girl side to the lady side of that equation.

As Dirty Thirty weekend is about to commence I would like to summarize the last 10 years...bullet style.

• Transferred from UVM to UMASS.
• Studied abroad in England.
• Traveled to Spain, Italy, Scotland and Ireland.
• Spent a final summer at camp.
• Earned a Bachelor's Degree.
• Moved home.
• Worked retail for the first time.
• Realized I wanted to be a teacher.
• Earned a Master's Degree.
• Got my first "real" job.
• Got my second "real" job.
• Moved out of my parent's house.
• Lived alone for the first time.
• Spent 6 short months as a 4th grade teacher.
• Started a blog.
• Spent 12 long months unemployed.
• Made The List.
• Returned to my second "real" job.
• Made some new amazing friends.

Here's to the next 10 years being even more awesome!

Read last year's birthday post here.

* Ryan Adams sang this.

The Blahs...

I've got 'em.*

And I hope to shake them soon.  Last night wasn't your typical "Eww, it's Sunday and I have to go to work tomorrow" night.  Instead, it was a sleepless night complete with the first melt down of the New Year.  (P.S. do you only capitalize New Year when you are referring to the actual holiday event and not the year as a whole?) I was feeling overwhelmed by my financial situation, social situations, finding a job for this summer/next school year which quickly spiraled into being unhappy with my current job, current fitness level and current living situation which always ends in the idea that I will die alone.  Don't judge me...at least I can admit I'm a hot mess.

But after some calming down from my work besties and repeated listenings of this song:

I'm feeling a bit more like a normal person.

But it's the little things, the little things not expectation
That make life worth living, worth living <---These lines get me every time.

I'm still a mess...but a more socially acceptable mess.  Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

*I blame the full moon.

 

Snowcones, Hearings, and Wobbly Arms

I can't believe it's almost Friday!  When you have a snow no power day on Monday, a professional day on Tuesday and it's already 7 pm on Wednesday that means tomorrow is Thursday...which is basically Friday.  And because of some silly snow storm, Halloween was rescheduled so I get to wear my costume to school/work on Friday.

This morning I scraped enough frost off my windshield to make a snow cone.  If only I had some red dye #5 cherry syrup! 

Then I went to school/work (when you work at a school is it school or work?) where I copied some recipes from a cookbook on the school photocopier.  Karma was swift to judge me for my misuse of office supplies as I slit that web of skin between your thumb and index finger open with the aforementioned photocopies.  I will spare you a photo but it was this part:

When I came home from school I opened my mailbox to find the mail that I've been waiting for...the response from unemployment.  I drew in a breath and got a bit exciting thinking there would be a check inside.  Instead, I got an IMPORTANT NOTICE (in 10 languages) letting me know that not only will I not be getting my owed unemployment money but I OWE them $2,550.  So that was awesome...except not.  I have to request a hearing so I may be seeking legal council/advice/pep talks from my lawyer friends to prove to the state of Massachusetts that I am right and they are wrong.

In an effort to stave off a panic attack, I went to the gym and lifted things up and put them down until my arms were shaking.  They are still wobbly and I'm not convinced that I will be able to lift them above my head tomorrow but cest la vie.

My parents have power again so I will be returning Everyday Mom's laptop.  And needless to say with my current/ongoing unemployment predicament a fixed/replacement computer is no longer on the radar.  So I bid you adieu...for now I hope.

   

Remember The Time...

I got schooled by an 8 year old?  Yeah, that was today.

I was teaching 3rd grade and we were reading a National Geographic article about polar bears.  I pointed out that polar bears may go extinct if we don't help protect their habitat.  We listed some extinct animals like the dodo, dinosaurs, and the quagga (half horse, half zebra).  Then the following conversation ensued:

Student:  Passenger pigeons are extinct.
Me:  No they aren't.  I know someone who raises them.
Student:  No those are carrier pigeons. They are different.  Passenger pigeons are extinct.  The last one died on September 1, 1914.*
Me:  Oh.

Later in the day during independent reading time the passenger pigeon kid was "reading" a Where's Waldo book so I pointed out Waldo before he could find him.

Passenger pigeon kid: 1
Amy: 1

* This is true.  I don't know why he knew that fact but I Googled it when I got home.

  

HBBFFL!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE!



Mmmm...I want to lick my screen.

Today is my favorite Ronald McDonald (but less creepy and with better makeup) look-a-like's birthday.  Her name is Summer and she writes a blog about birthing and parenting the cutest baby ever!  And this birthday is kind of a big deal as she is joining a NEW DECADE!

She is trying it out for me so that when my time comes in February I know that everything will be okay.

If you are asking yourself, "What is the best birthday present for someone I don't know?" the answer is simple: a Happy Birthday donation.

Summer is participating in the March for Babies which raises money for the March of Dimes to fund research and help prevent premature births.  If you would like to donate to a wonderful person and a wonderful cause, please visit her donation page to make a Happy Birthday donation.  In making a Happy Birthday donation you can help celebrate Summer's special day and help babies everywhere have healthy and happy birthdays.*

Thanks! 

* Plus you get 10 awesome points.

If You Ask Me For A Reference...

Don't be surprised when you have the following email exchange.  Note: Emails edited for length and incriminating identifying details.

Friend:

(asking for a reference)

Brief life update: still working at the [redacted], started College in January for my Master's in Human Services and now trying to get out of my current job...I'm looking for new opportunities.  Let me know if you can't open it, or just can't fill it out. Either way, you're amazing!

Amy:

(writing reference)

So you are going to serve humans huh? I hope they are tasty! I will gladly complete a reference for you on 1 condition.  You start blogging more so I can blog stalk you because I can no longer FB stalk you.  Of course I am kidding (sort of) about my condition. Hope you are well. Let's make plans to visit sometime soon.

Friend:

I have submitted to your condition, though my blog entry was not so exciting. I actually just got off Skype with the [redacted] and she was basically offering me the job already but she still needs my references. Since I will soon be quitting my job, I will probably have some more free time? Road trip to you? :-) Let's hang out, I agree!

Friend:

Thank you for filling out that form for me! I hope everything works out with that. In the meantime, I am still looking to leave my job hardcore.  Would it be possible for you to also maybe write a reference letter for me too? Please?  If you help me, I would be happy to help you with anything on your 30 before 30 list. :-)  You of course can say no.  Either way, you're the best.

Amy:

I will definitely write you a reference letter.  BTW...when the form asked me to give an example of the applicant's dependability and follow through, I wrote: "Friend is very dependable and promptly follows through on any task. For example, when she asked me to fill out this recommendation I told her I would only do it if she started blogging more.  Friend not only responded to my blackmail condition of writing a blog post but she did so enthusiastically and without complaint." I hope that is okay. Are you regretting asking for a recommendation now? Also you should regret offering to help me with ANYTHING on my 30 Before 30 List because I still need to cliff dive and fold 1,000 paper swans...and I'm not above outsourcing.  P.S. I'm going to blog about this.

Ed. note:  The ratio of silly and ridiculous Amy to serious Amy is about 85:1.  I believe this is why I am finding being a grownup difficult.

Dear Amy,

Enough of the woe is me.  Stop complaining.  Put on your big girl pants and be a grownup already.

XOXO,
Amy

   

Wednesday Truths

Yesterday I subbed for an inclusion assistant.  You can read about my earlier adventures in subbing here.  I did close to nothing babysat all day and it was the longest 6 hours of my life.  Reminiscent of when I worked the fitting room at Old Navy at 9:00 AM on weekday mornings.  There is only a certain number of times you can put on a runway show for one before you feel stupid.

I've had a very busy last four days so Monday night I was going to turn my phone off so I wouldn't hear any calls about subbing.  I know it had only been one day and it's way too soon to start ignoring calls for work.  So I left my phone on and got called to sub.  I went back into my room to start getting ready and there was a HUGE spider crawling on my bed blankets.  I really wanted to take a photo because it was seriously large but I couldn't risk it getting away.  It needed to die ASAP.  So for the second day in a row, I found myself murdering a spider.

I hung out in 6th grade for the day.  The kids were preparing for a play about ancient civilizations so they talked about Athens and Sparta all day.  Every time I heard the word Sparta, I was all, "I AM SPARTA!" in my head and I wanted to laugh out loud.

After school, I played grown up and FINALLY did my taxes (at my parent's house so I got a free dinner and free laundry).  Sadly, I owe money for state taxes and am getting a pittance back from the Feds so no iPad reward.  (Every year I buy myself a present with my tax refund.  It's like Christmas 2.0!)

Before I left my parent's house last night, a spider descended from the ceiling fan, riding on its web spinning, string thing. (I'm sure there is a proper name for this.)  I saw it dangling in the air and tried to coax my dog into eating it.  She was having none of that.  For the THIRD time in two days I murdered a spider.  At what point do I become a spider serial killer?  And will someone please lie to me and tell me that all of these spiders mean good luck is coming my way.

When I got home last night, I had a voicemail about subbing for today.  I didn't call back.  But I'm justifying it by the fact that I should be rewarded for doing my taxes, I needed a good nights sleep like whoa, and I will be all kinds of productive today.  GTL baby!  If "T" stands for "the bank."  Also grocery shopping and tutoring...in the rain...although my raincoat is in my car and I am in my warm, dry apartment.  Can we say dilemma?

Guess Who Is Being A Productive Member Of Society Today?

This girl.

Don't blow it Amy.

Recap to come...obv.


   

Just In Case You Thought I Was Joking

I HATE horses.  But I LOVE My Little Ponies.  And I used to LOVE this movie.  When I was little, I would rent it from the video store all the time.  So after I watched Rainbow Bright on Netflix Instant, I added this to my queue to see if it was as good as I remembered.  Let me save you an hour and a half of your life.

An evil witch and her two daughters live on a volcano.  They hate the ponies.  The witch makes purple Smooze to cover Pony Land.

Lickety Split is a prima donna.  She tries to show up everyone at the recital and ruins the dance.

She gets reamed out.

 She and her dragon friend sing a song then run away.

This is where I got lazy.  A lot of other stuff happens but the purple Smooze covers the My Little Pony dream castle.

Some Pegasus ponies are friends with people.  They tickle a giant spider to get to Flutter Pony Land.

Rose, Queen of the Flutter Ponies, refuses to help.  Bitch.

They have a change of heart.  The Flutter Ponies vomit sunshine and glitter on the purple Smooze, making it retreat.

They all live happily ever after.

Sadly, it wasn't as entertaining as I once found it to be.  Although I did remember a surprising amount of the movie for not seeing it in 20+ years.  I guess I should start renting grown up movies again.  Sigh.

A Morning Without Scrambled Eggs: The Aftermath

Today began with a rocky start because my body wanted scrambled eggs but I fed it a granola bar instead.  From there it was a slippery slope.  In an effort to be fiscally responsible thus accomplishing #10 on The List, I paid my rent, credit card and cable bills and eventually my parking ticket (although I still have yet to file my taxes.)

Back in mid-March I got a parking ticket. 

I was parked in a place that I have parked for the last two years but they changed the signs from weekend parking to tow-zone.  I was annoyed but ultimately it was my fault so I tried to pay the $20.00 now before it became $25.00. 

I examined the ticket and you can pay in three ways:
1.  At city hall (in a city I live 30 minutes away from).
2.  By money order or postal note (which I have never heard of).
3.  Online.

Obvi, I choose option #3.  Well...you can't actually pay on the parking ticket website.  You have to create an account for a third party collection agency and pay through them.  And they charge a fee to pay online.  Ugh.  But I can't send the city a check directly and I refuse to drive the 30 minutes to pay in person.

So I create my account intending to use my Visa to pay the fee.  But although the Visa logo is shown, they don't actually accept Visa for parking tickets.

WTF?  When have you ever heard of ANYTHING taking Discover but not Visa?  So I can't mail a check but I can't pay online with Visa.  Within the account I created, I had to create something called an ACH which is an acronym that means electronic check (I guess).  I can't mail a check but I can pay a fee to use an electronic check?  In the words of Chandler Bing, "Could it BE any more difficult?"

After figuring out how to pay my parking ticket I went to have words with my bank.  They have released new debit cards that are more akin to library cards than credit cards.  When mine was peeling apart, I had a new one printed.  That one didn't swipe so I had another printed.  That one swiped when the card was vertical but not when it was horizontal.  Arg!  Today I had yet another card printed.  That would be card #4 in 3 weeks.  This one better work otherwise the next words I have with my bank will be, "I'm closing my account."

As there is no grocery store in the tiny town I live in, I split my shopping among three neighboring towns.  And because they are still small towns, I inevitably bump into someone I know.  Today at the grocery store, I got in line then realized I forgot to get bananas.  As I turned to walk away I heard my full name. (Side note: My last name is only 4 letters, one syllable so I am often referred to as Amy _ _ _ _ like it is one name.)  So there I was looking a hot mess after sleeping on the aforementioned (almost) french braid face to face with my mentor teacher from my last teaching gig.  It was good to see her but I should know by now to brush my hair before I leave the house.  C'est la vie. 

I guess the moral of the day is wash the dishes so you can make scrambled eggs!

Getting Back on the Horse...Even Though I Hate Horses

I am officially a teacher substitute teacher again.  I finally got out of my own way, sucked up my pride, and decided to be a grown up.

Over the last two weeks I called and showed up in person only to find out that they were not accepting new substitutes.  Then all of a sudden, I got a call on Monday morning asking me to come in because they reopened their substitute interview process.  Right place, right time?

I went to central office today and my "interview" consisted of the following:
HR lady:  So you are a certified teacher?
Me:  Yes.  I have my Masters in elementary education.
HR lady:  Okay.  Let me show you where the schools are.

Then we chatted about budget cuts and I filled out my paperwork.  I hope that the HR lady is representative of the school system because she was very friendly and offered to let principals know that I was a certified teacher when it comes time to hire for next year. 

After things ended so badly last year, I questioned my ability and desire to be a teacher.  Instead of rallying and proving people wrong, I held an extended pity party for one.  But the time has finally come to put that all behind me and look toward the future (although I'm sure many people would say that the time to put up or shut up came about six months ago.)  As much as I am not psyched to be a substitute, I have to start somewhere.  If nothing else, I will be waking up before noon and being a more productive member of society than I have been for the past 2 seasons.

New town.
Fresh start.

  

What A Wonderful Day For A Field Trip

Happy 1.11.11!  What better day to take an EPIC field trip to IKEA? 

I have been planning a trip to IKEA to aid in the redecorating/office space project for ages but I could never convince anyone to go with me...admittedly it's kind of a hike.  So today I woke up early, drove the hour to get there and arrived 15 minutes after it opened.

I then proceeded to spend the next 2.5 hours wandering the airport sized store deciding on furniture and decorations.  IKEA is great if you are a good decision maker.  However, if you are like me (lacking the decision making center of your brain) it is quite overwhelming.

I finally procured my items and then just had to worry about fitting them in my car. 

I drive a Corolla and that desktop is 5 ft. by 2.5 ft.  It was a struggle...mostly due to the fact that I couldn't figure out how to put the back seats down.  I had to break out the car manual to discover that the lever for the seats is actually in the trunk!

So I got the seats down, took the head rests off and shoved that beast into the trunk...and it fit!  Thank goodness because otherwise I don't know what I would have done. 

It took another half hour to get all that stuff back out of the car and into the apartment.  Now I just need to figure out how to put it all together.  Snow day project!