Cooking With Amy: Pretzel Edition

I made pretzels y'all!  (I'm pretending to be Paula Deen today but will duck and cover if a ham comes flying at my head.)

It was easy.  You gather all 6 ingredients.

Then you mix until you make a mess.

Refrigerate overnight.  Roll into dough snakes.

Do some magical twisty maneuver until they resemble pretzels.

And bake until they look delicious.  Nom Nom.

Of course some looked more like pretzels than others.



Don't feel bad pretzel-like lump...you were still yummy!

  

The Death of a Dream

Way back when I was a sophomore in college I had a dream.  Not the Martin Luther King kind...it was more of a pipe dream.  As my roommate E can attest, my dream was to pen a super sappy heartfelt and moving novel that would be welcomed into Oprah's Book Club with eager arms (obv. propelling me to fame and fortune).

But today that dream must die.  Not only have I not written said novel but the demise of Oprah (as we know it) is upon us.  Today marks her last show and thus the death of a dream.

Let's pause for a moment of silence.


   

Six On Sunday

1.  Saturday was a perfect day.  It was GORGEOUS out...75 and sunny.  My only regret is that I didn't wear flip flops.

2.  Saturday was also girl date day.  S and I went for pizza then saw Bridesmaids which was HILARIOUS!

3.  This week at the grocery store I bought this:

I've eaten squash many many times but my family usually gets the green, pumpkin shaped ones.  I have never prepared squash by myself before.  I'm going to try and prepare this without incident but I don't know where to start.  Cut it in half?  Peel it?  With a knife?  A veggie peeler?  Do I even own a veggie peeler?

4.  I also bought these at the grocery store. 

I've been on an Asian food (i.e. stir fry and wonton strips) kick lately and I add these on top of everything.  If you know me, you know I also eat them from straight from the bag like crackers.  Nom Nom.

5.  I've been working on several things from The List this month.  But you're going to have to wait and see what this turned into!

6.  In case you haven't seen it, the CDC (that's the Center for Disease Control) has issued an emergency response plan for the zombie apocalypse.  It's nice to know that should the zombie apocalypse occur, the CDC will have my back.

   

My Farewell Address...Just In Case The World Ends

Last night at 3 am I thought I was being Raptured...a bit early...but Raptured for sure.  The global earthquake shook me awake with a horrendous noise.  Well, it turned out to be a severe thunderstorm...with apartment shaking intensity.

I awoke (unsaved) and spent my (possible) last day on Earth babysitting 11 year old hellions.  But my efforts were rewarded with a make your own sundae bar at lunch.  Mint chip and strawberry baby.  I colored bug thoraxes during buddy time, stared at the wall for 45 minutes during library time, and was treated to a whole school rendition of a Beatles tune during an assembly.  After school I took a much needed nap and woke up to BLUE SKY and SUN!  I guess Noah can keep his arc in storage after all. 

I was thinking today that when it comes to The Rapture (which is supposed to occur by timezone) us Westerners will at least have a head's up over the Eastern Hemisphere.  New Zealand gets to play guinea pig this time.

In the event that this is my last blog post ever, I feel like I should say something profound...but the truth is, tomorrow will be the last day on Earth for many people.  Even if we aren't Raptured we could just as easily be hit by a bus, or bitten by a snake, or have a brain aneurysm.  So be nice to others and try not to take life so seriously.  Eat well, be merry, and maybe add Rapture to your life insurance policy.

I promise this will be my last Biblical/Religious post and that Everyday A will return to its regularly scheduled content (assuming the world doesn't end).  But just in case, I had ice cream twice today.

 

The End of the World...Again

This morning I spent half a month's rent on new brakes for my car.  But I've been told they are good for stopping.  And now I can successfully:

If you recall the last time I had my car serviced...there was a man feeding pastries to his dog Lady.  Today there was a woman texting on her iPhone while her dog barked at people as they walked by.  Apparently my dealership has a "we're cool with dogs" policy.



I feel a bit like a creeper taking photos of strangers in public but not enough of a creeper to stop.

 
While I was waiting for my car to be serviced, I began to wonder if getting new brakes was worth my time and money seeing as the world is about to end.

In case you are unaware, May 21, 2011 is Doomsday.  It has also been referred to as Judgement Day and The Rapture.  According to my research (and by research I mean reading this page and this page on Wikipedia) Harold Camping, a civil engineer turned radio host, has predicted that this Saturday will mark the beginning of the end of the world. 

My religious knowledge is iffy at best but this is what I think is supposed to go down.  On Saturday, Jesus will return to Earth to gather the Christians in the air to save them.   I don't understand what "gathering them in the air" means though.  Will they die and go to Heaven?  Will they float around suspended in the sky?  Is the atmospheric gathering metaphorical?

At 6 pm local time (apparently The Rapture occurs by timezone like the sunset) there will be a global earthquake that will signal the beginning of the Rapture.  Five months after The Rapture (October 21, 2011) will be the end of the world...which is fourteen months before The Mayan end of the world on December 12, 2012.

A few things:
-  Does this mean that Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman will be Raptured?
-  Harold Camping is certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that May 21, 2011 is the day.  But he was also sure that The Rapture was going to happen in 1994 and as far as I can tell we are still here.
-  What does this mean for people who are Jewish?
-  I thought that the Second Coming of Christ was dependent on the construction of the Third Temple after a red heifer is born in Israel.  (I read about this in The Year of Living Biblically by A. J. Jacobs and was fascinated by it.  The birth of a red heifer is supposed to be a sign of divine origin yet there are farmers trying to genetically alter cows in order to breed red heifers.)
-  There have been 10+ Rapture predictions in the last 180 years.

But, according to Wikipedia, Sir Issac Newton said that the world wouldn't end before 2060.  In 1704 he wrote, "This I mention not to assert when the time of the end shall be, but to put a stop to the rash conjectures of fanciful men who are frequently predicting the time of the end, and by doing so bring the sacred prophesies into discredit as often as their predictions fail."  Well...that sounds logical enough.  And he did discover gravity...so I'm siding with Sir Newton for now.

Discuss.

A Biblical Letter

Dear Noah,

I thought you would be here by now...seeing as how it has rained for my entire life and I can't even remember what it is like to be sunny.  I thought by now you would have taken the arc out of storage.  I thought you would have dusted it off.  What are you waiting for?  I'll start hoarding pairs of animals (I'll begin with puppies)...you just have to come through with the boat.

Let's make this happen.

XOXO,
Amy

   

A Google Game

A few weeks ago, I posted a cupcake picture to let the world my followers and stalkers know that my BFF was turning 29 + 1 years old.  Well, it must have been International Cupcake Day/Week because I got a billion (give or take a few) hits on that post alone.

So I thought I would parlay my traffic sources into a game.  Listed below are some of the international Google referring sites that people have used to find my blog. 

How many can you identify using only the letters at the end of the link?

1. http://www.google.co.uk/
2. http://www.google.ca/
3. http://www.google.fi/
4. http://www.google.it/
5. http://www.google.si/
6. http://www.google.com.au/
7. http://www.google.co.za/
8. http://www.google.co.nz/
9. http://www.google.com.ph/
10. http://www.google.co.il/
11. http://www.google.ie/
12. http://www.google.hu/
13. http://www.google.de/
14. http://www.google.ru/
15. http://www.google.ae/

I scored a 13 out of 15.  How many did you guess right?

Click on the link to find the answer.  Or cheat check you answers below.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
1. United Kingdom  2. Canada  3. Finland  4. Italy  5. Slovenia  6. Australia  7. South Africa  8. New Zealand  9. Philippines  10. Israel  11. Ireland  12. Hungary  13. Germany  14. Russia  15. United Arab Emirates

Has Anyone Seen My Will To Blog?

I've misplaced my blogging mojo again.  When I asked for blog ideas, it was because I knew my mojo was fading and I was hoping for blog requests like, tell me about every pet you've ever had, describe in detail what you would do with 50 dollars in quarters, or discuss every awesome moment you ever had at camp.  No such luck.

But...today Jenna posted about receiving The Overlord Award and she passed it on to me.  Well she passed it to an Amy and I am going to assume that I am the only Amy she could possibly be talking about.  Ha.

So not only did this give me an excuse reason to blog but I get to change three things about the world...or at least tell you three things I would change about the world.

Number 1:  I would cancel Fox News.  All of Fox News.  Even watching Jon Stewart make fun of Fox News makes me cringe.  Be gone.

Number 2:  I would make teleportation a reality.  How awesome would it be to be able to have dinner with friends that live across the country or across the world whenever you wanted?  Just to be clear, it would be super awesome.

Number 3:  I would invent a live action do over.  You would be able to rewind time only a moment or so in order to have a do over.  For example, I could re-do the moment when I got home from doing 4 miles at the gym.  I took off my sneakers, stepped onto my tile floor and slipped in my socks, twisting my knee.  In my live action re-do I would leave my sneakers on...or take off my socks thus preventing my current achy knee/awkward limp situation.

So there you have it.  If I could change things in the world they would be magical things.  The rules didn't specify realistic/imaginary changes so I just ran with it.

What would you change about the world?

  

Six On Sunday

How is May half over already?  Last week kind of got away from me blogging-wise.  I had a lot of almost-posts which all ended up being not-quite posts.  Then, the longer I went without posting the harder it was to write something...anything.  And then Blogger broke for two days.  But here are six of the things I did, thought, saw, or loved this past week.

1.  I had an online chat date with M and we tried to figure out gchat...rather unsuccessfully.


So we gave up and had a wonderful chat on Skype instead.

Something was HILARIOUS!

2.  I wanted to make the perfect birthday cupcakes for S.  I went to the store, list in hand and filled my cart with all the goodies needed to make chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter filling/frosting.  When I got into the check out line I realized I didn't have my wallet.  Embarrassed, I asked if I could leave my cart there while I ran to my car to get it.  I ran out to my car and grabbed my wallet and got back in line.  My wallet was feeling super thin so I opened it and it was EMPTY.  You see...the weekend before when I went to O-town's Bachelorette Party I put my cash, cards, and license into my wristlet...which was safely at home...while I was at the store with an empty wallet. 

We made do with Hostess cupcakes instead.

3.  In my effort to walk 31 miles in May (even though I've temporarily stalled at 10) I realized I'm in dire need of new sneakers.  I have been cursed with the widest feet on the whole planet and tried on so many sneakers to no avail.

Seriously...I tried on a lot.

I ended up buying 3 pairs with the intention of trying them on again at home to decide if any of them were keepers.  And after my day long search...I found them!

4.  This whole rain thing is not conducive to my walk 31 miles in May plan.  I would much rather walk outside than on the treadmill but I do not like to get wet...at all (unless it involves swimming).

5.  I cooked a lot of meals this week but that didn't stop me from eating cereal out of a coffee mug.

6.  I cooked two different stir fry meals this week.  Stir fry #1 was shrimp, zucchini, noodles and sauce.  Stir fry #2 was chicken, summer squash (which I think is just yellow zucchini), broccoli, asparagus, noodles and sauce.  I got a bit over-confident in my pan flipping abilities and had quite the veggie over board situation.

But let's be frank...I absolutely scooped it right back into the pan and enjoyed it for dinner and lunch the next day.

 

Remember The Time...

I got schooled by an 8 year old?  Yeah, that was today.

I was teaching 3rd grade and we were reading a National Geographic article about polar bears.  I pointed out that polar bears may go extinct if we don't help protect their habitat.  We listed some extinct animals like the dodo, dinosaurs, and the quagga (half horse, half zebra).  Then the following conversation ensued:

Student:  Passenger pigeons are extinct.
Me:  No they aren't.  I know someone who raises them.
Student:  No those are carrier pigeons. They are different.  Passenger pigeons are extinct.  The last one died on September 1, 1914.*
Me:  Oh.

Later in the day during independent reading time the passenger pigeon kid was "reading" a Where's Waldo book so I pointed out Waldo before he could find him.

Passenger pigeon kid: 1
Amy: 1

* This is true.  I don't know why he knew that fact but I Googled it when I got home.