Birds vs. Babies

Convos with a BabyMomma

3/9/11 via text:

Amy:  I had a dream last night that you and I were walking around and a bird pooped on me then I wiped it on you.

S:  Thanks a lot.

A:  It was my subconscious sharing the luck with you!

S:  I don't understand why bird poop is supposed to be lucky.  I think that was made up to make the person who got shit on feel better.  I don't feel lucky when M poops on me. (M is the baby of S)

A:  Gross.  But she is not a bird.

S:  No but you think a baby would be better luck than a stupid bird.

A:  But birds fly.  Babies are just a money suck...diapers...clothes...college...therapy bills.

S:  But babies also love you back.  Birds just poop on you.

A:  But you can't eat babies...at least not without landing yourself on the news.

S:  Babies can support you in your old age.

A:  Not if you don't have babies.  And birds used to be dinosaurs.

S:  Not according to the Bible.  Don't make the Baby Jesus cry.

A:  You just had to throw down the Baby Jesus! 

S:  Haha.  Yeah that was a low blow.

    

Convos with a BabyMomma

As you may know my BFFL (we'll call her S because that's what Summer starts with) just bore the fruit of her loins and named her Madeline. Naturally such a life-changing event is bound to impact every facet of a long term friendship including daily conversation. To document this paradigm shift let me introduce:

Convos with a BabyMomma

10/4/10 via text

S: The mommy movies in Lowell are only six bucks. But they only do one a month and there's a possibility of screaming babies.

Me: Do people nurse in the dark? Would I have to take my top off to get in?

S: You might actually.

Me: Ugh...hope it's not cold in there! If I nursed in public I would wear a huge sweatshirt then just stuff the kid up inside.

So today I learned two things. First, apparently a movie theatre is a socially acceptable place for numbers of topless women to gather...and second, I have just entered a world where weird is the new normal.