I Am in the Twilight of My Youth*

It's Birthday Eve! My last night as a twenty-something. <---That is kind of a BIG DEAL! Although what is even more of a bigger deal is that by turning 29+1, I am actually beginning my 4th decade on this planet!

In case you were not aware, I've been anticipating freaking out about this birthday for the past year 10 years of my life. I always assumed that by 29+1 I would be settled in a career, married, a property owner and possibly thinking about having kids. Instead, I find myself still figuring things out...on all fronts. And...this may surprise you...but I think I'm okay with that.

I've always done things at my own pace, in my own convoluted way so why would I think major life decisions/milestones would be any different? I'm slowly coming to accept the fact that I should not compare my life circumstances to others and certainly not against a number. <---Evidence of me growing up!

Tomorrow, I officially become a grownup. Remember that Britney Spears song, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman"? Well tomorrow, I move from the girl side to the lady side of that equation.

As Dirty Thirty weekend is about to commence I would like to summarize the last 10 years...bullet style.

• Transferred from UVM to UMASS.
• Studied abroad in England.
• Traveled to Spain, Italy, Scotland and Ireland.
• Spent a final summer at camp.
• Earned a Bachelor's Degree.
• Moved home.
• Worked retail for the first time.
• Realized I wanted to be a teacher.
• Earned a Master's Degree.
• Got my first "real" job.
• Got my second "real" job.
• Moved out of my parent's house.
• Lived alone for the first time.
• Spent 6 short months as a 4th grade teacher.
• Started a blog.
• Spent 12 long months unemployed.
• Made The List.
• Returned to my second "real" job.
• Made some new amazing friends.

Here's to the next 10 years being even more awesome!

Read last year's birthday post here.

* Ryan Adams sang this.

Remember The Time...

I got schooled by an 8 year old?  Yeah, that was today.

I was teaching 3rd grade and we were reading a National Geographic article about polar bears.  I pointed out that polar bears may go extinct if we don't help protect their habitat.  We listed some extinct animals like the dodo, dinosaurs, and the quagga (half horse, half zebra).  Then the following conversation ensued:

Student:  Passenger pigeons are extinct.
Me:  No they aren't.  I know someone who raises them.
Student:  No those are carrier pigeons. They are different.  Passenger pigeons are extinct.  The last one died on September 1, 1914.*
Me:  Oh.

Later in the day during independent reading time the passenger pigeon kid was "reading" a Where's Waldo book so I pointed out Waldo before he could find him.

Passenger pigeon kid: 1
Amy: 1

* This is true.  I don't know why he knew that fact but I Googled it when I got home.

  

Helloooooooo Weekend

A few things...

* Apparently someone important got married today.  It would have been more exciting if we had a national holiday to fully appreciate the hats.

* While playing teacher today I showed a video about the Trojan War.  To be honest, my knowledge of ancient civilizations is about equivalent to my knowledge of string theory...I've heard of it.  While the kids stared out the window for 45 minutes, I was totally enthralled.  I spent the time making connections in my head like, "Ohhh, that is when Brad Pitt dragged the Hulk behind his chariot." 

* It was gorgeous out today.

* I hate substitute teaching...like I would rather spend the day at the dentist...hate it.  It is tough to walk into a classroom of 25 kids who you know nothing about and attempt to control/teach them anything.  Subbing is making me resent kids and making me want to quit teaching.

* As you may have noticed, my blog is under construction.  I'm just trying to keep you guessing.  All will be revealed in time...like on Sunday.

  

Things I Probably (Most Definitely) Should Have Learned Before I Did, But Learned The Hard Way Instead

Way back in August I wrote about "Things I Probably (Most Definitely) Should Have Learned Before I Did."  Today I bring you the follow up: "Things I Probably (Most Definitely) Should Have Learned Before I Did, But Learned The Hard Way Instead."

1. How to eat a grapefruit. When I worked in the Lex. we had new fruit Thursday. (A lot of the students I worked with had sensory issues and couldn't/wouldn't eat a variety of foods.) Every Thursday a parent would send in a different fruit and all the kids would try it. Because of my schedule I was usually the one to cut up the fruit. We tried apples and grapes and watermelon and kiwi.

Grapefruit day came. I assumed grapefruits were just bigger, more sour oranges so I set out to peel it like an orange. To this day I don't know what went wrong. It may have been extra ripe or perhaps I didn't have a gentle touch, but the grapefruit disintegrated into a juicy, pulpy mess. It dripped down my arms and onto the floor and I was sticky for the rest of the day. (I later learned it is easiest to halve a grapefruit and scoop it out.)

2. How to wash a blender. Yesterday I picked up a blender at my parent's house but it was gross so I decided to wash it.  At the bottom of the blender are some knife-like blades. Surely they come out for washing...right?

Well I unscrewed the base, and the blade part just would not come out...so I figured it didn't.  I went about washing the blender being as careful as possible.  (Amy + sharp things = disaster...always.)  I managed to jab the tip of a finger (only one) into the blades and started bleeding.  Luckily my dad got home right as I started bleeding and showed me that the blade does, in fact, come out.  (To my credit the blade was really stuck.)

Dad: 1

Blender: 1

Amy: 0

Riveting Stuff

If you asked me, "Amy, can you french braid your own hair?"  I would say yes.  But I don't think this is right.  Aside from being super messy it looks upside down or something.  Hmm.

If you asked me, "Amy, can you take a decent picture of the back of your head?"  I would say yes.  Well, obviously I was wrong about that also!

In other news, I wanted to cook scrambled eggs for breakfast but all of my pots and pans are sitting in the sink waiting to be washed.  So I had a granola bar and string cheese instead.  I guess I didn't want scrambled eggs bad enough.  But if I am going to learn to poach salmon, I'm going to need some kind of pot or pan.

Try New Foods: Episode One

Number 5 on The List has been a hot topic this week.  I made the goal to try five new foods because I tend to be that person that claims they dislike a food before even trying it.  Although to be fair, I do dislike A LOT of things.  Things that you probably like.  Things like tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, lemonade and iced tea.

I don't have high hopes that I will try five new foods, fall in love and add them to my limited recipe repertoire; but at least I will be able to say, "I've tried it and I don't like it."

This week, I've brainstormed the types of food I would like to try and found that others are quite willing to help me accomplish this task.  I however, need more convincing and encouragement.  Today S helped me with that.

I took my brother to lunch today because sadly he is trekking back to VA on Thursday because he can't handle this New England weather anymore.  We ate at an Italian restaurant where salad comes with your lunch.  I was happily eating my lettuce when S put an olive back into the salad bowl.  (I should have stopped right there and realized that if S didn't eat olives it was unlikely that I would like olives.)

But I made an impulsive decision.

The Scene:
A:  I could eat that olive and get started on my 5 new foods goal.
S:  Go for it.
A:  What does an olive taste like?
S:  Like an olive.
A:  rolls eyes.
S:  They taste like olive oil.
A:  Are you lying?
S:  Yes.

Well, at least he was honest. 

I speared the olive on my fork and psyched myself up.  I chewed once, twice, then I almost gagged.  S urged me to swallow it but I had to spit it out.  He then surmised that because I didn't eat (i.e. digest) the olive it doesn't count towards my list.

To which I replied that my list says I only need to TRY new foods not eat them.

Things I learned today:
1.  Trying new foods is not necessarily fun.
2.  I don't like olives.
3.  Olives DO NOT taste like olive oil.
4.  Trying new foods in a restaurant where there is the potential of vomiting in public is maybe not the best idea.

   

A BAD Idea

Waiting until the day after the storm to dig out your car is a BAD idea.

The Boxtown got 20 or so inches of snow.  That's a lot.  And yes, I know that it snows in New England and I shouldn't complain blah blah blah.  BUT it seems as if Bloomberg was directing the plowing of my apartment complex during this storm.

It was still snowing a bit as the sun was setting yesterday so I decided to wait until morning to dig out my car.  Again let me state that this was a BAD idea.  Everyone who had to be up and out for work early this morning got their cars out first...mostly by adding the snow blocking their vehicle to the snowbank in front of my vehicle. 

I know that it snowed a lot and that I was in for quite a bit of shoveling but I was completely unprepared for this:

 SERIOUSLY?

That SNOWBANK in front of my car was 3 feet high in places and a good 4 feet wide.  Thanks for the crappy plow job and to my crappy neighbors who helped make a sledding hill in front of my car!

One hour and a billion shovelfuls of snow later, I was able to extricate my car from its snowy sarcophagus but cutting a hard right around the third of the snowbank that I left for someone else to deal with.



So. Things we learned today:  dig your car out of the snow before your neighbors do.

Oh and another piece of advice I learned this week:  while you may think that parking your car in front of a church is a safe bet...parking in front of a church overnight in the city is a BAD idea.

As It Turns Out...

Oral is a real name.  Today, two separate people informed me that in fact there are people named Oral.  Most notably, Oral Roberts, a well known televangelist.  Oral was his given middle name.  It seems a scandalous choice for a Minister to adopt the name Oral.  Although, I suppose he could be referencing his abilities as an orator.  But he has a university named after him and I don't...so what do I know?

I do know that I had a latte and Toblerone for breakfast today.  Possible New Year's Resolution:  No chocolate before 10:00 am?

Merry Christmas to My Car: The Sequel

Today was such a comedy of errors. 

I was feeling like quite the renaissance woman this morning when I was able to independently jump start my car in the snow.  I backed out of my spot, drove about six feet, then turned on my heat which made the car die in the middle of the driveway.  I did the only thing I could think of, I put her in neutral and with feet sliding in the snow, pushed as hard as I could until the car was out of the way. 

I called AAA for a tow and was told it would be 90 minutes.  Living in the woods a small town has some benefits.  The tow truck arrived 10 minutes later!  (I must have the value AAA plan because only the first 3 miles of my tow were free.)  So with my car on its way to the dealer I went back to bed.

They fixed my car and I persuaded my dad to pick me up and drop me off at the dealer where he asked if I wanted him to wait for me.  I told him no and he left...with my house keys in his truck.  I paid for my car with my 10% off coupon and the dealer gave me a $10 gift card to Dunks...SCORE!  After an impromptu stop at my parents house for my keys I turned off my car and my daytime running lights stayed on.

Long story short...it turns out that even cars with daytime lights have a light knob thing that you can use to turn on the headlights without the car being on.  You learn something new everyday!  I have owned this car for 5 years and I just found this out...it makes me wonder what else I am completely unaware of in my day to day life.

So, it turns out that my Corolla wanted a battery and not an alternator for Christmas.  This made Santa very happy because a battery is sooooo much cheaper.

Here's hoping for a worry-free Wednesday!

Padiddle!

Most of my blogs as of late have had a craft theme which seems to have isolated bored a great number of people.  I am overdue in offering a witty and/or self-revealing blog...so I thought I would give you a peek into my thought process as I drove home from the store tonight.

5:37  I see an unusually high amount of cars with a headlight out and I wonder if there is a reason for this.  Perhaps I only noticed because it is now DARK at 5:00?

5:37  I wonder how to spell the word padiddle...does it start with a silent "t"? 

5:40  I then realize I am confusing the silent "t" with the silent "p" as in the words pterodactyl or ptarmigan.  (Yes it took three whole minutes to realize this...no judgement!)

5:41  The song "One Headlight" by the Wallflowers begins to run through my head and I try to recall if the band ever had another hit.

5:42  Is the band still together? 

5:42  Is Jakob Dylan really the son of Bob Dylan...or did I just make that up?

5:42  Bob Dylan is still alive right?  Surely I would have heard otherwise.

So as soon as I return home and hastily put away the groceries, I open Google and begin to investigate.  Yes, Jakob Dylan is Bob Dylan's son and yes Bob Dylan is still alive and then I make a mental note to add a Bob Dylan biography to my reading list (that is if I ever read anything ever again since I still have not finished a book since August.) 

But perhaps the most shocking thing I learned is that the word padiddle is NOT a noun which refers to a car with only one headlight but in fact is the name of a game.  The rules of Padiddle the game are quite intense but basically boil down to this:  you see a car with a headlight out...you hit the roof of the car...the last one to hit the roof takes off an article of clothing!

How did I never know this?  Did I grow up that sheltered?  Did my lack of male friends in high school contribute to my ignorance?  Padiddle does seem like a coed game...I mean how often do you see three chicks cruising around the 'burbs taking articles of clothing off? 

Am I the ONLY person who didn't know the real rules of Padiddle?  Has anyone actually played by the real rules of Padiddle? 

Obviously I do most of my thinking in questions.

Cooking With Amy - Crab Rangoon Edition

It's no secret that I LOVE projects.  Mom's birthday was yesterday (Happy Birthday Mom!) and Dad and I decided to make homemade Chinese food for her.  We made stir fry with lo-mein noodles, egg rolls, Ah-So (the neon pink sauce) pork strips, and crab rangoon. 

I tackled the crab rangoon on my own and did not have high hopes for myself.  I can be quite disastrous in the kitchen and this recipe called for deep frying which is something I have NEVER done.  I found a simple recipe on the Big, Bold, Beautiful Food Blog which included tips to avert disasters before you start.  That's my kind of cooking...knowing everything that can go wrong before it does. 

I mixed up my crab and cream cheese filling, added some scallions (which I only today learned were also called green onions) and garlic, a bit of soy sauce and I was done.  I used egg roll wrappers which were way too huge to make the traditional triangle crab rangoon, so I cut them in half and made Amy's Special Square Crab Rangoon. 

The scariest part was the deep frying.*  I was concerned that I was going to light something...possibly myself...on fire.  Luckily, I averted all major disasters.  Only one crab rangoon sprung a leak causing the hot oil to sizzle uncontrollably.  Aside from the one that exploded, I made some kick-ass crab rangoon! 

Basically, I'm almost an Iron Chef. 

*In hindsight, I can see how deep frying could easily become a hobby.  I was tempted to toss other things in the oil to see what would happen! 

So the Moral of the Story Is...

Edward Cullen says:

In October, I drank lots of lattes, wore flip flops with sweatshirts, looked at the moon, spent too much time online, visited with lots of friends, ate too much candy, dressed up for Halloween, didn't finish a book, met new people, went three entire days without going outside, barely watched tv, kept my apartment clean, made a minibook, drove more than 1,500 miles, photographed lots of leaves, and cut my own hair.

I accomplished ALL three of my October goals proving that my idea of aiming low should now be widely recognized and respected.  This past month, I tried something new, I wrote an entire blog post without using the word "I" and I carved some kick-ass pumpkins.

Sadly, I exhibited poor decision making skills in carving my pumpkins 8 days before Halloween. Apparently if you live in an apartment this is not a good idea.  I went away for the weekend and returned to this:

I spent the better part of 10 minutes scraping pumpkin guts off the window sill with a spatula.  Today was spent mourning the death of my jack-o-lantern before he was able to realize his Halloween dream. Maybe I should have put it in the fridge rather than leave it in the window when it was 75 degrees for 4 days?  Oh well...live and learn.

I also tried to dress my dog as a lady bug.  She was not psyched:

However, after some tummy rubbing and the promise of dog treats she acquiesced.

So the moral of the story is...
Don't carve pumpkins a week before Halloween and leave them inside.
Be nice to animals...or bribe them with treats before you embarrass them.

Bring on November!

Babies!

Cutting it close! It's almost midnight! Eeek.

Just spent 6 hours talking about babies! ♥LOVE!

Learned they come out head first, face down...the head first part I already knew of course!

And...that's all.

9/02/10

In honor of today being 9/02/10 (which I didn't know until I read The Sassy Curmudgeon ) let's all take a moment to remember one of the better parts of the 90's!

So...the important question....Dylan or Brandon?


As a totally unrelated aside - it took me a very long time to figure out how to add a link into my post and I am exceptionally proud that I managed to do it all by myself. I would say it's akin to programming a VCR (which I don't know if I ever successfully managed to do.)

Things I Probably (Most Definitely) Should Have Learned Before I Did

There are moments in life when you accept something as fact simply because you did not know any better. I have many of these moments.

For example:

While reading To Kill A Mockingbird in high school, it took me an exceptionally long time to realize that Scout was in fact not a boy, but a girl. Did I skip over all of the pronouns in the first 9 chapters? Who knows. The book is now on my list of books to revisit in the future.

Until 9th grade I thought…assumed…was sure that Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh was named IGOR. This was one of the more memorable things I learned in 9th grade. I distinctly remember being astonished that I had been misled/misinformed for the last 14 years.

More recently, I heard about this new young singer that was putting the Jonas Brothers to shame named Justin Beaver. For months every time his song was on the radio I laughed a little inside. Come to find out that either my hearing is going or my mind is in the gutter when it comes to 13 year old pop singers named Justin BEIBER.

Also, coco van…mmm…who doesn’t like chocolate? Turns out coco van is actually coq au vin which is chicken, mushrooms, and wine. Thanks Julia Child!

Let’s hope the cliché of “better late than never” applies here.