Tuesday, November 29, 2011

CRV Drivers = Not Nice Drivers

Dear CRV Drivers,*

Why are you all up in my grill today?  You need to stay out of my way.  Especially when I am in the turning lane and you are in the going straight lane even though you are going to turn.  Just because you didn't want to wait in the turning lane traffic does not mean that you get to cut me off.


*This letter does not apply to the people I know personally that drive CRV's because I know it wasn't you!

Also, grabbing a yogurt off the grocery store shelf, opening it and proceeding to feed it to your kid while standing in the exact middle of the dairy aisle is NOT okay.

Now that I'm home and all fired up, I've got a date with Lisa Loeb and a sink full of dishes.  Be jealous.


Monday, November 28, 2011


Watching The Grinch Stole Christmas...

...while eating Thanksgiving: Part Deux...

...in a heat wave.  It hit 63 degrees today in the state of Massachusetts which is unheard of for November 28th.

In other news, I fully admit that I judge people who go shopping on Black Friday. People (in general) are crazy when it comes to stuff: i.e. a squirt of pepper spray to the eye in order to cut in line or a full on riot over $2.00 waffle makers.  Do people really love waffles that much?

But...and here is where you get to judge me right back...I have my moments of crazy also.  Take for example, this evening.

I am at the gym and super sweaty (you're welcome for that image btw).  

I am headed from the gym to a meeting so I brought a clean shirt to change into...but I accidentally leave the clean shirt in the car.  So in my infinite wisdom, I decide to take off my sweaty shirt and just zip up my fleece all the way.  I figured I would just throw on the clean shirt in the car.

So I get to my car (which I responsibly parked under a street light) and there is someone sitting in the car across from me.  I most definitely was not going to strip in front of Mr. Random.  I pull out of the parking lot and just assume I'll figure out a new plan on the way.  My plan turned out to be this: change from fleece to t-shirt at 30 mph on a dark road.  The whole 45 seconds it took me to change I kept thinking this would be an awful time to hit a deer.  The cops would find me topless on a dark road blaring Christmas music.

File under: # this is my life, # this is why I'm single


Friday, November 25, 2011

Exciting Friday Night

This is happening...

Just me, a pair of scissors and a mirror.

Cross your fingers!

And just as I foretold back in July, my hair grew longer and I cut it again. 

Cooking with Amy: Thanksgiving Pie Edition

So Thanksgiving has come and gone.  Hands have been traced, pilgrim hats colored, pies baked, turkey (and stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread, cranberry sauce and pies) eaten.  Food coma accomplished.  The Black Friday ads were scoured and I hemmed and hawed about battling the public at large for a new laptop.

Ultimately, I decided that I am incapable of making a decision so I slept in then ate left over pie for breakfast.  Last year I conquered the best biscuits ever, cherry pie and pumpkin cheesecake.  This year I attempted a healthier (if there is such a thing) dessert.  I made a lemon custardy thing with a graham cracker crust.

First I crunched up some cinnamon graham crackers.

Which I managed to do without popping the bag!  <---Respect.

I mixed eggs, condensed milk, lemon juice and some lemon rind then poured it into my pie crust.  FYI: Juicing lemons + dry hands = OUCH!

I baked my pie/custard thing for 15 minutes but it was still liquidy.  So I baked it some more.  Eventually I gave up and took it out even though it was still wiggly.  Everyday Mom insisted that because it was custard-like it would set up.  I believed her.  Perhaps one reason it was so gooey was because the recipe called for 11 oz of condensed milk but the can was 14 oz so I just poured it in until I thought it looked like right.  I will (probably) measure it in the future.  But after some time in the fridge it looked like pie!  Like custard!  Like lemon goodness!

It was delicious and everyone loved it.  Obviously.

After all was said and done, I headed home with Christmas songs on the radio and marked the start to the holiday season by watching ELF!  The time has officially come to go Christmas crazy.  Deck the halls, sing your fa-la-las, bake those cookies, put up a tree, send holiday cards, string the lights, watch Elf every day, cut paper snowflakes, knit a scarf and be merry.  I will be doing all of this and more starting today even though it is 60 degrees out on the day after Thanksgiving!


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful:

That sometimes my parents drive me crazy
because it means that they love and support me.

That my brother won't be home for the holidays
because it means that he is healthy and working hard.

That sometimes my socks get wet when I let the dog out
because it means that some days are full of puppy cuddles.

That I don't get to see my friends as often as I would like
because it means that I have people to confide in.

For living paycheck to paycheck
because it means I have a job.

For the lines and poor customer service at Walmart
because it means that I am buying chocolate peanut butter.

For the awful lip syncing during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade
because it means that I have a TV and can afford cable.

That I've been stranded in the airport
because it means that I've had the chance to travel.

For my heating bill
because it means that I am warm.

That Santa is about to appear on a float
because it means that I can FINALLY get excited about Christmas.

That you read this cheesy post
because it means that I have the freedom to write.

What are you thankful for?  


Tuesday, November 22, 2011


What a strange sounding word.  And not quite the word to describe today.  But the word I am looking for escapes me at this moment.

I had a super fast day at school/work.  I played "Break The Ice" with competitive, aggressive boys, had grade 2 lunch group with three awesome space cadets (and I mean that in the nicest way possible so don't judge me), and had lunch and "consult" time with super fab colleagues friends.

After school/work I hauled ass to my favorite dog-loving car dealership.  Today there was one of those little black and white dogs with barely any fur, and permanent bug eyes.  A Boston terrier I think?  Its owner coaxed it onto the couch next to her where it proceeded to lick itself silly.  One and a half hours later, a basic service and 5 pins to hold on those flappy splash guard things and I was out of there.

I was psyched to drive by the gas station that had gas for $3.36.  (At my home gas station it is $3.65.)  I pull in, turn off the car, uncap the cap and find that the advertised price was ONLY for gas card holding members!  For regular credit card holders it is $ .06 more.  FALSE ADVERTISING!

When I got home, I consulted my T-day recipes and made my shopping list which I proceeded to leave at home...so hopefully I picked up the important things!

Reheated left overs from last night for dinner and used my flat naan to make some garlic bread.  And in typical Amy fashion, I accidentally lit my toaster oven on fire.  NBD.

Tomorrow is a half day and I get to play teacher because the "real" teacher is taking off for T-day early.  We have a busy day of word searches, indoor recess, and Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving planned.  I was supposed to take off for Maine but apparently there is ANOTHER storm that is going to screw up my travel plans.  WTF Mother Nature?

Also:  At some point (when I finally replace my camera charger) I promise to put photos on my blog again.


Monday, November 21, 2011

English Muffins and Chocolate PB

In a 2.5 day week Tuesday = Thursday.  So it's practically Friday already!

I haven't slept well in a few days so this morning was a bit rough.  I toasted an english muffin while I was getting dressed and burnt the bejesus out of it.  But alas, it was my last one so I figured it was nothing that a little peanut butter couldn't fix.  Turns out I was wrong.

I spent the day wrangling 7 & 8 year olds, avoiding Christmas music on the radio and wandered the aisles of Walmart in sweats this evening.  <--- I promise that I'm not as trashy as this makes me sound.  The sweats were intended for the gym and Walmart is the only place where I can find my beloved chocolate PB.

Aside from the breakfast blunder, today flew by. Tomorrow is going to be busy.  School/work, car service, library, laundry, packing for Maine, grocery shopping, and hoping the men at Toyota don't judge me for the disaster that is the inside of my trunk.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Cooking with Amy: Naan Edition

I had another Breadventure this weekend.  I came across a simple recipe for naan (pronounced: naan).* The secret ingredient to the naan was yogurt.  Greek yogurt in an Indian bread.  Hmm.

I mixed the water, yeast and sugar and waited for it to get all foamy.  But it didn't.  So I dumped it down the sink and started again.  I assumed (incorrectly) that I used water that was too hot and killed the yeast. Well...my second go around yielded the same results.  No foam.

But I forged ahead anyways.  I mixed the rest of the ingredients but left out this flour:

for obvious reasons and got to kneading.  Well it looked like dough.  I set it aside and an hour later it still looked like this:

the yeast did not do its thing thus my dough didn't rise.  But I cooked it anyways.  At first the dough bubbled up like it was supposed to:

But when I flipped it, the bubbles sank and my bread turned out more like a tortilla pancake then a naan.

I probably went wrong in many ways but I am going to blame the yeast this time.  At least they kind of looked like naan.

I threw some crock pot bbq chicken on top and a few fresh mozzarella bits and made myself a little pizza.  It was delicious.  Even on a pancake-naan.

* I know that the letter A in the word cat is a short vowel...and the letter A in the word same is a long vowel...but what about when the letter A makes the sound that it does in naan, or at the end of Santa?  Long or short?  Is there a medium vowel? 

File under: #Things I should know as a second grade teacher paraprofessional.


4:47 AM

So it's 4:47 AM and I'm awake.  After 4 blissful hours of sleep, I awoke thinking about a lesson I (forgot) I am teaching on Monday and have now been awake for an hour and a half.

In my pursuit to fall back to sleep, I made the following mistakes:
I tossed and turned.
I turned on the light.
I got out of bed.
I had a snack.
I made some notes for my lesson.
I turned on the TV (The X-Files are on).
I turned on my (borrowed) computer.
I added some notes to my book outline.
I checked Google Reader.
I decided I needed to blog about why I am awake in the middle of the night.

But now:
My toes are cold.
My eye lids are heavy.
The X-Files is almost over.
It is still dark out.
The words in my head are now on paper a flash drive.
I am ready to go back to sleep.

Coming later today:  Cooking with Amy.  Get excited.


Friday, November 18, 2011


It's no secret (at least to anyone that works with me) that I've had the blahs all week.  Two days at the gym managed to give my psyche a little kick in the ass and my legs a soreness usually reserved for a senior citizen.

On Wednesday I left school/work with such a headache.  I managed to stumble home and was in bed less than half an hour after kids climbed the bus steps.  After a two hour nap, I felt like less of a monster and was able to manage dinner, the dishes, and a trip to the gym.  But my siesta/late night workout left me wide awake until 2 am.  Damn circadian rhythm.

By the time today rolled around I was just done with the week.  I took the day off work more for a mental health day than anything.  I slept for 13 hours last night and woke feeling more like myself.  Today I spent some time on the couch then packed myself a lunch and headed to my favorite bookstore/coffee shop and did some letter writing, some book writing, and a lot of Pandora listening.  Internet radio might be the best invention ever.  It is the ultimate shuffled playlist that is always there when I forget to charge my iPod.  


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Ides of November

Yesterday and today were all kinds of blah.  I don't know whether I am coming down with a cold, sleeping too little (or too much) or just want to shirk all responsibilities and wander around a little.

But despite my general malaise and ambivalence I managed to accomplish 3 things today.

1.  I went to school/work (and stayed for the whole day).

2. I FINALLY put my Netflix movie in the mail (after the mailman already came) even though I never watched it.  This is monumental because the movie has been sitting on my coffee table since:

3. I went to the gym.  Yes, I sat in the car and gave myself a bit of a pep talk before going in.  And despite wanting only to walk in, grab a Tootsie Roll and walk out, I lifted things up then spent 15 whole minutes on the elliptical before my iPod died.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Cooking with Amy: Mom's Birthday Edition

Today my mom turned XVILCM years old.  (Don't freak out mom...remember that I don't know how to use Roman Numerals!)

For dinner I revived the homemade ravioli from Dad's birthday.  They were a bit over-spinached and under-cheesed and I cooked them longer that I should have so they grew and grew and grew.

After the ravioli course came the cake course...which was a hot mess as per usual.


First, I made a mess.  Then I broke the cake in half.  The top of the cake sunk a bit a lot (so I filled it in with frosting obviously) which meant there wasn't quite enough frosting for the sides of the cake.  Oh well.  It tasted 4000 times better than it looked.  Be jealous that you couldn't try it. 

FYI: I used this recipe for the cake and this recipe for the frosting.  The cake is probably the best chocolate cake I've ever made/eaten.  Make it...now.


Friday, November 11, 2011

Live Action Blogging: Best Buy Edition

What are you up to on this beautiful Veteran's Day?  Hopefully something more meaningful then I currently am.

So far I have visited Santa at the mall, bought 8 pairs of underwear and am currently drooling over the MacBooks at Best Buy.  Naturally, I thought this was the perfect place to embarrass myself in public.


And...it's official.  I want a MacBook.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

This Is Why I Don't Do The Twitter*

Hitting snooze way too many times...check.

Eating chocolate peanut butter off a spoon for breakfast...check.

Reading about pigs and fishing papers out of the photocopier...check.

Cleaning an entire cup of yogurt off a second graders pants...check.

Grocery shopping so I don't have to eat chocolate PB tomorrow for breakfast...check.

Hitting the gym...umm.

Watching a Sex and the City mini marathon instead...check.

Getting excited about drinks on Wednesday and no school Friday...check.

* Because obviously my life is so exciting!


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Six on Sunday

1.  Today is the NYC marathon.  You better believe that I'm sitting on my couch in my pj's watching people be rock stars.  (Some day I will be a rock star.) <--Believe it!

2.  D&O from D&O Get Married fame are awesome friends who lent me a laptop (while they try to revive my desktop) and taught me how to use an online backup system so I am good to go for blogging and book writing.

3.  I FINALLY sat down and began to outline the book I am going to attempt to write (more on this later).

4.  On Friday night I picked up a few things at a store (which I won't name lest you think me to be less classy than I am)* and there was a woman bundled from head to toe sitting next to her "Sharing is Caring" Salvation Army sign with a red bucket and a bell.  I was all "HOLD UP...it is early November, there are still leaves on the trees, hell...there are still GREEN leaves on the trees.  Caroling and bell ringing SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING YET!"

5.  It looks and feels like fall in New England again.  After a rainy, swampy, blizzardy October, November is (so far) shaping up to be bright and sunny and brisk.

6.  Keep your eyes peeled for a new Breadventure this week!

* Okay fine...it was Walmart. Go ahead and judge me.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Snowcones, Hearings, and Wobbly Arms

I can't believe it's almost Friday!  When you have a snow no power day on Monday, a professional day on Tuesday and it's already 7 pm on Wednesday that means tomorrow is Thursday...which is basically Friday.  And because of some silly snow storm, Halloween was rescheduled so I get to wear my costume to school/work on Friday.

This morning I scraped enough frost off my windshield to make a snow cone.  If only I had some red dye #5 cherry syrup! 

Then I went to school/work (when you work at a school is it school or work?) where I copied some recipes from a cookbook on the school photocopier.  Karma was swift to judge me for my misuse of office supplies as I slit that web of skin between your thumb and index finger open with the aforementioned photocopies.  I will spare you a photo but it was this part:

When I came home from school I opened my mailbox to find the mail that I've been waiting for...the response from unemployment.  I drew in a breath and got a bit exciting thinking there would be a check inside.  Instead, I got an IMPORTANT NOTICE (in 10 languages) letting me know that not only will I not be getting my owed unemployment money but I OWE them $2,550.  So that was awesome...except not.  I have to request a hearing so I may be seeking legal council/advice/pep talks from my lawyer friends to prove to the state of Massachusetts that I am right and they are wrong.

In an effort to stave off a panic attack, I went to the gym and lifted things up and put them down until my arms were shaking.  They are still wobbly and I'm not convinced that I will be able to lift them above my head tomorrow but cest la vie.

My parents have power again so I will be returning Everyday Mom's laptop.  And needless to say with my current/ongoing unemployment predicament a fixed/replacement computer is no longer on the radar.  So I bid you adieu...for now I hope.

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