How Rude!

Dear Gentleman Man,

FYI: A gentleman would have held the door for a lady like myself (carrying things in both hands) instead of dropping it in front of my face.  Furthermore, when you realized that your passenger side door was next to my driver side door, it would have been polite to let me get into my car first.

Also, you were wearing pinstripe suit pants with a solid black blazer and I think that looks tacky.

XOXO,
Amy

   

"It's Like Going to the Circus"*

I was going to write a riveting post about all the foods that I dislike but I just spent another morning at the car dealership.  You know what that means...people watching!  There were no dogs this time but I did see plenty of interesting people.

There were lots of kids.  Some with books.  Some wearing sequin princess dresses.  Some on leashes...and not those monkey backpack situations...but an actual leash, looped around her waist and hooked back onto itself.  Yep.

There was also a Tony Danza Ted Danson look-a-like that I felt way too creepy taking a covert cell phone photo of for the first 75 minutes that I was there.  But those last 15 minutes?  I guess I just stopped caring if I am a creeper.

Also...I was surrounded by iPads.  It's a sign! 

There was a couple that were snuggling on the leather chairs.  They were watching the tv behind me and it was a very awkward hour trying not to look at them while they were looking in my direction.

The "You're Being People-Watched and You're a Weirdo" award goes to Peter...who I am kind of certain is a serial killer.  He rocked Dockers and a plaid button down that was messily half untucked.  The end of his belt escaped its loop and flopped about as he stood up and walked around.  He had an old boxy Nokia cell phone that he housed in an eye glass case and was casually flipping through books about short term loans.  Now you might be thinking, "Amy, he just sounds like a dork."  But there was something about him that screamed serial killer.

Although, I feel like I must disclose that while waiting for my car to be serviced, I was reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell which is all about how and why we make split decisions.  Perhaps I just made an incorrect split decision...but maybe it is a good thing that that kid was on a leash.

Do we remember The Lovely Bones?


Peter, the car dealership serial killer, had almost the same glasses on!

* Title attributed to K.
  

Don't Get Excited...

This is merely a breaking the seal type of post just to get me back into the swing of things.  Let me tell you some stuff...

I had a lunch date with T-FACE today. Except I was the worst lunch date ever and only ordered a frozen, blended coffee drink ice cream in a cup. Then we went to buy Cory Feldman a new tank. I made some new friends:

There is something about the open road, a great song and a beautiful sunset that makes everything feel right in the world.

I've been working on #24  from The List this week because 1,000 is a lot.

And yes.  I do keep them in a plastic pumpkin.

    

Cooking With Amy: The Most Delicious Cupcakes Ever Edition

Six on Sunday is hereby cancelled because I'm spending the day traveling to WEMA to play with paper.  Yesterday I saw Bad Teacher (funny) and made the most delicious cupcakes ever.  I pirated the recipe from How Sweet It Is back in May to make cupcakes for S's 29+1 birthday but had a mishap during the ingredient getting portion of the recipe.  But I regrouped and used my 1st Blog Birthday as an excuse to finally bake them.

__________________

Dear K,
Thank you for being my guinea pig and taking the first bite.  Don't be alarmed by my baking skills okay?
XOXO,
Amy

P.S. K said they were delicious.

__________________

It started innocently enough.  Doesn't it always?

I didn't have a whisk but I figured hey, a fork is almost the same thing.

I mixed in hot, melted butter followed by cold milk and heavy cream.  Well...the warm butter seized up forming a rice-soup/oatmeal looking mixture.  NBD.

I made a mess because the mixing bowl was a tad too small.  Oh and I forgot to make the fudge sauce.  I assumed it was just to decorate the cupcakes.  Oops!  Always read through the whole recipe before starting...lesson learned.



I contemplated stirring in some Hershey's syrup but instead I put the cupcake batter on hold while I whipped up some fudge sauce with my classy double boiler.

 

They look like cupcakes!  But I forgot to buy butter for the frosting so they cooled on the counter while I headed back to the store.

My peanut butter buttercream frosting looks delicious right?

It's pretty amazing what 2 tablespoons of milk will do to a lumpy dry mess.

It's robot arms were reaching out begging to be licked.

I punched a hole in the middle of each cupcake and filled it up with the frosting just in case the frosting on top wasn't enough for a sugar coma.

The cupcakes looked gorgeous but a bit naked.

So I gave them a shower of warm fudge sauce.

Verdict:  A lot more work than cupcakes from a box with frosting from a can but sooo yummy.  But...the cupcake (while moist and airy) is really just an edible plate for the peanut butter cream frosting. 

Seriously...the frosting is the most delicious thing I've ever tasted.  Ever.

Happy 1st Birthday Blog!  Happy Belated Birthday S!  Happy Weekend!

    

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!

One year ago today I took a deep breath and posted the following to the interwebs:

Where to begin...I suppose with the name. "Zero Ducks in a Row" pretty much sums up my life right now. Up until this week I taught 4th grade until my principal decided that even though I tried my best I suck at teaching and thus no longer have a job.

So I am back to square one with any career plans and I am beginning to think that I will never make it as a teacher. That sounds like I am trying to do something spectacular like be a show girl or president but come on already...all I want to do is stand in front of kids and impart some wisdom upon them. Is that really too much to ask?

Currently I am harboring many anxieties about my future. I am on summer vacation but I have no future plans for any aspect of my life. This blog is an attempt to record and inspire(?) change in my life.

 

So here's to finding some ducks and forcing them to sit in a row.

  ________________________

I was in a very negative head space as (what I thought to be) my dream job was pulled out from under me and it seemed that there was only myself to blame.  An entire year has passed and unfortunately, not much has changed in the job department.  I began substituting and I continue to send out job applications to what feels like every school in the state of Massachusetts.  But in the past year, I have (mostly) come to terms with the fact that the economy is more to blame for my unemployment than myself.  I still fall asleep at least 3 nights a week thinking about what I could have done differently.  But I am sure hoping that finding a new job will put the thoughts of self-doubt to rest.

 

Throughout this past year I learned:

That a job isn't and shouldn't be your life. 

That I'm a hot mess in the kitchen...and love every minute of it.

That it's never too late to make wonderful new friends.

That I love being crafty and making things.
That making goals is easy...but achieving them is harder.
 

In a year this blog has gone through as many changes as I have.  It began as Zero Ducks in a Row, which although more Google friendly, didn't really represent where I wanted to go with all of this (whatever this is).  As Everyday A, the blog went through many a face lift but has finally found itself.

 

Blogging has become a hobby that very few people aside from other bloggers appreciate and understand...but I don't care...I LOVE IT!  I've rediscovered a love of writing and I've found an outlet that lets me record and share my daily happenings in a way that is comfortable and convenient.  I've always had the desire to keep a journal but I've never been able to keep up with it.  I would become conscious of how I structured a sentence, when I used the wrong word, my penmanship and if I made an error.  (Yes. I am a tad neurotic...tell me you aren't surprised by that.)  Writing a blog allows me to get my thoughts down quickly, to backspace, to delete, to use a thesaurus, and to share things with lovely people who I can't see as often as I'd like.

So here's to the next year!

P.S. If you know me, you know that I absolutely used my 1st Blog Birthday as an excuse to bake cupcakes.  Update soon because obviously I forgot to buy butter so I have to run back to the store.  #File under: Story of my life.

  

Yesterday I...

- Played "Ladies who lunch" with S and we caught up over some chicken parm.  Nom Nom.  We visited stalked her soon to be new house and picked up M-face from daycare. 

- Finished James and the Giant Peach for the first time since 3rd grade-ish. 

Some thoughts:
1. I want to write books like Roald Dahl...except be a little less creepy.
2. I now want to eat a peach.*  Nom Nom.
3. There is MAJOR stranger danger in this book!  James meets a "magical" man who gives him an unknown substance (glowing crocodile tongues) and assures him that marvelous things will happen to him but he can't tell anyone.  #File under: Just Say No

*Peach...check. 

Did You Know...

That people still drove Hummers?  At least one person does.  I'm going to assume that the driver is a he and that he has the smallest penis ever because not only does he seem to be overcompensating with a Hummer but look at those tires (and rims).

Not only are they fancy (esp. for the suburbs) but they are HUGE!  To give you a little perspective...here is the tire next to a shopping cart.

They are like monster truck tires!  They easily came up to my mid-thigh (and yes I know I'm not the tallest girl out there but still...huge).

In other news, I also saw a giant boat today. 

Apparently it was "Boys and their toys" day!

  

Dear Molly,

When you come visit, we will drive through Massachusetts, New Hampshire and cross the green bridge into Maine.

We will stay at a charming estate.

We will walk up and down a giant hill to the lake where we will swim, boat, or lay in the sun to our heart's content. 

We will also see butterflies.

We will sit on the deck surrounded by birds, looking down to the lake.

At night we will roast marshmallows.

We will have to drive 25 minutes each way to the grocery store where we will see llamas, turkeys, turtles, etc.

We will look for oreo cows and we will ALWAYS break for moose.

Can't wait!

XOXO,

Amy

  

Six On Sunday: Father's Day Edition

Happy Father's Day to the man who:

1.  Instilled a love of making bread messes in the kitchen at an early age. 

2.  Taught me to jump start my car and trusted that I could do it.

3.  Always gives great advice:
Amy: How do I call the llamas to come over to the fence?
Dad:  Say, "llama llama llama."

4.  Helped me haul away a Christmas tree.

5.  Doesn't get mad when I beat him in the last hand of a game.

6.  Still rocks a mustache.

    

The Way Life Should Be

Headed to Maine today all by my lonesome...if lonesome includes my dog. 

I'm going "off the grid" for 48 whole hours so I can check #20 off The List.  This task is much more easily accomplished in Maine because there is no tv or internet at our house.  All I have to do is turn off my cell phone and I'm good to go; but I am keeping the radio and iPod on so I don't go completely crazy. 

I can only imagine what I will do for two entire days without blogging and texting.  (I'm aware how terribly sad and pathetic that sounds.)  I'm going to bake bread, fold cranes and take walks.  I may even discover the secrets of the universe!  Although more likely will take lots of naps and finish a few books.

So this is me, signing off.  Within an hour, I'll be turning off my cell phone, sipping an iced latte and pretending I can sing like Adele.

  

D&O Get Married: Part 2*

The men were dashing.

The ladies were beautiful.

The bride and groom were sublimely happy.

It was a beautiful day, hot in the sun, perfect in the shade.  We sipped blue margaritas and home brewed beer as we waited for the ceremony to begin.  The guests gathered on a grassy hill and were regaled with the story of D&O.  The couple exchanged vows and the Officiant photo bombed all of my pictures.

As a group, we walked over the river brook and through the woods to take wedding photos next to the soon-to-be (organic) veal cutlets laying down in their little plastic doghouses. 

The venue was inviting...twinkle lights, flowers, and mason jars galore. 

We dined on fajitas and blue margaritas...churros and spice cake (which was delicious even though I only ate the frosting...no that's not weird). 

D was in charge of cutting the cake for our table and he did a stand up job.

The dancing commenced while the wine flowed.  A conga line ensued.  W requested the best song of the night: Party in the USA...yes Miley Cyrus.  Don't hate...everyone was on the dance floor, singing at the top of their lungs, celebrating life and love. 

The most unique request of the night: Dick in a Box...complete with hand motions.  There's just something wonderful about a bride and a groom singing "One. Cut a hole in the box" in front of their parents and family members that is super special.  The night concluded with O's very own Top Gun moment.

Other highlights:  Hanging out with very tall people.

Dapper looking men fully respecting the required man distance. 

And gorgeous new friends.

Congrats D&O!

* Part One here.