Let's Talk About American Healthcare*

I never told my anonymous blog stalkers, but this summer I started training for a half marathon. The plan was to walk/run 13.1 miles in October in Maine. But jumping into training and wearing flip flops for months on end caught up with me and left me with a nagging case of posterior tibial tendonitis.

After two urgent care appointments, I was referred to orthopedics for plantar fasciitis. One month and a hefty copay later, the orthopedist (who is only there Monday mornings) referred me to physical therapy for plantar fasciitis. One month of PT later and she re-referred me back to orthopedics with tendonitis.

On Monday I went back to the orthopedist. He told me I need to wear a walking boot for four weeks. But his office didn't have any in stock. So he sent me to the cast office (across town) with a prescription for a boot. Yesterday I picked up the boot and brought it home, only to find it dug into my calf so badly that I had a bruise within a half hour. I womaned up and returned today. The casting guy went to a different office (in the same complex) to get me a new boot. Then he had to cancel yesterday's boot and walk me to the new office to do the insurance paper work.

Well...even though the new office is in the same complex, and my referring doctor works there, they refused to give me a boot without a referral from the original office. Could the referral/network/insurance system be ANY MORE COMPLICATED? (Chandler Bing reference.)

To top that off, the boot (which costs $60.00 on Amazon) costs $425.00 from the doctor's office. And insurance won't cover it until I reach my deductible...which after all the copays I've paid I must be almost there. But my insurance did notify me that I can have a baby for only $638.00 out of pocket. I have to pay hundreds of dollars to deal with a tendon but I can bring a life into the world for not much more!

So here is my lovely space boot that costs half a month's rent:

SO FANCY!

*I'm aware that compared to others this is a very minor inconvenience but there has to be a better way to do things. It's no wonder people go bankrupt so quickly after receiving medical care.

S is Still for Sprout

Once upon a time I showed you my penchant for sprouting potatoes. Well the time has come again. I spent the entire summer eating on the run and the potatoes in my cabinet suffered.

I'm SUCH a dork but I wonder what causes potato sprouts to grow in certain patterns/directions. Anyone know?

 

GEESE!

Fly Away Home was on TV this weekend which was quite apropro. For one, I love the movie. For two, the main character is named Amy and has a cool accent. For three, the subject of Canadian geese is highly relevant to my day to day life.

You see...at my school/work, there is a GIANT marsh and pond surrounding the field and playground (and no...there is no fence). But in the spring with the pond comes alive with Canadian geese.

They do funny things like:

• Mate outside the 5th grade windows during MCAS testing. (P.S. They are noisy when they do that.)
• Chase each other around...wings out, necks curved...hissing:

• Make a nest on top of the beaver lodge. Like so: 

• Poop all over the playground (which then the kids pick up and throw at each other...right before heading inside to eat lunch) <---Kids are gross.

In a (failed) attempt to keep the geese off the playground, they have outfitted the orange, plastic snow fence with sparkly pinwheels. 

Yes, this is the truth. 

Yes, my school is silly.

File under: #But geese LOVE pinwheels.

   

Drink the Kool-Aid

Dear Second Graders,

When you punch a hole through your Capri Sun pouch I'm going to have to put your juice in a cup. Likewise, if you lose, break, or maim your straw, I'm going to have to cut open your juice box and pour it into a cup. My question to you is this: why do you refuse to drink the juice from a cup but will gladly drink it from the juice carton? IT IS THE SAME JUICE!

XOXO,
Miss C

#File under: juice boxes are an integral part of my day, why are kids so weird?


    

The World Be Crazy

Today I was all:

about so many things.

• Two guys walk out of the supermarket. One looks like Obama's shorter twin, the other like this:

Same hat, black trenchcoat. I kid you not.

• From Massachusetts, I talked to my mom in a car wash in Arizona via cell phone. Modern technology boggles my mind sometimes. I wonder if the covered wagon folk could have ever imagined what life is like today. It makes me wonder what the future will hold. #Deep thoughts.

• I think I ate baby twin chickens the other day and it kind of freaked me out.

• I was serenaded by a second grader today...with a Ke$ha song. <---True story. The spelling pattern this week is -ow and blow is one of the words. Cue: It's time to lose your mind and let the crazy out...this place about to blow-ow-ow-ow...go insane, go insane throw some glitter make it rain. 

• Why hasn't the US at large realized Rick Santorum is crazysauce? Don't they watch The Daily Show?

Dear Snow...WTF?

So when I said Happy Fall what I actually meant was Happy Winter?!?  My psyche is all confused because there are 5 inches of wet, wet snow on the ground (and on my car) before Halloween.

Currently, I am sitting in Barnes and Noble along with 300 of my closest friends strangers using their free wi-fi.  Although I have been warned that the tables, chairs, and plugs are reserved for paying customers. (But to be fair there are legitimately 60-70 people in line for coffee.)  I found a secret plug hidden around the corner from the cafe.  Two chairs later and voila I have my own internet station.  I think my ingenuity should be rewarded not punished.

Now...let's back up to Thursday.

Thursday

There was a rumor around school that it was going to snow.  I rolled my eyes at those silly people because it doesn't rarely snows in October...a dusting if anything.  I met some work friends for drinks on Thursday night and by the time we left I needed to dig my snow brush out of my trunk. 

Friday

I entertained the idea of calling in sick to work on my costume for Saturday's Halloween party but my guilt got the best of me.  I left work on Friday and hit up Target, Walmart, the mall, my parent's house, and Walmart again before heading home.  My first trip to Walmart I bought gold spray paint which turned out to be chrome (which P.S. is NOT gold).  But it had a GOLD cap.  On my second trip to Walmart I bought gold spray paint which ALSO had a gold cap.  I got home and spray painted a headband and some Old Navy 2 for $5 flip flops gold.

Saturday

I slept in.  Like a lot.  Then I watched some teenage soap operas.  When I finally got around to putting my costume together it started to snow...and snow and snow and snow.  I bailed on the party, wasted a fun costume and watched Hocus Pocus on ABC family.  Then the power went out.  Then the power came on.  Then the power went out.  Then my phone died.  Then I lit some candles and went to bed early.

Sunday

I drove over to my parent's house to use their computer and their laundry services.  Turns out...their yard looks like this:

so needless to say they have no power which is why I am at Barnes and Noble.

The leaves on these maples hadn't even turned yellow yet!  The weight of the wet snow on the leaves was just too much.  All over town there are limbs and powerlines down, entire trees uprooted or split in half.  It's pretty crazysauce.

Monsters

Subbing today for the same 5th grade monsters as day one.  Wish me luck.  And speaking of monsters...I captured this in my apartment:

WTF is that?  Apparently springtime brings the spiders and bugs indoors...which seems counter intuitive because it is now warm enough for the bugs to be outside where they belong.  This guy got a one way ticket to a watery grave.

Thank goodness I had the foresight to keep an empty cool whip container on hand for such bug catching emergencies!

 

S is for Sprout

Last night I opened a cabinet to take out my grill pan and found these:

Two things.

1.  Obviously I should use my grill pan more often so as not to forget about potatoes.

2.  I should probably stop buying potatoes seeing as I apparently don't eat them and don't know how to properly store them.

I don't know which is more impressive.  The sheer number of sprouts or the height of last summers sprouts:

One thing is for certain...I'm a bad ass potato sprout grower.

 

Let's Play Another Game

Since yesterday's game was so popular, let's play another one shall we?  I'm going to give you three sentences and you tell me the missing word.

___________ taught me the value of hard work.
___________ helped pay for my education.
___________ taught me the value of serving others.

If you guessed The Army, you are
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WRONG!

For the correct answer, please watch the following:



WTF...Is this for real?!? 

I saw this commercial last night and I laughed out loud.  Did Hooters think, "Hey, it worked for the Army to talk about values and paying for education...why not us?"

The best part most horrifying part is the blond elementary teacher.*  Two things:
1. Why is serving wings to horny men comparable to educating the youth of America?
2. Who would bring their kids to eat at Hooters?  Do people really do that?  I've never been to Hooters but it doesn't scream family friendly dining to me.

In fact this is what comes to mind:



The newscaster says, "This is great because so often people think that Hooters waitresses, they don't think they have any skills outside of pouring drinks."  Um...yes...that is exactly what I think.  And her "skill" is followed by a Wings for Kids message.  Who would watch this on the news then bring their kids there for wings?!? 

I don't even...

*Also, that kid should NOT being using pen to do his work.  And, you NEVER correct papers with Expo markers, they are for white boards ONLY!