Conversations with Preschoolers

This week I am substituting at the preschool extended day program...and they are FUNNY.

Scene: Outside on the playground.

Preschooler O: I am four.
Me: A long time ago I was four.
Preschooler O: Are you five now?
Me: I'm a grownup now.
Preschooler O: My mommy said when I grow up I'll be a mommy too.
Me: That won't be for a long time.
Preschooler O: Yeah. I'm going to kindergarten then I'll be a mommy.


Scene: Eating (baked) Cheetos for snack.

Me: These are Cheetos. They are made with cheese.
Preschooler H: AND TOES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Me: Haha...that is clever.
Preschooler H: AND TOES!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. TOES!  (This kid lost his mind.)

 

Maine Bridge Weekend: Part 2

On Day 2 of Amy and her Mom visit bridges in Maine...we drove 3ish hours to midcoast Maine to check out the Penobscot Narrows Bridge Observatory. The Weather Channel promised me sunshine but this is all the sun/blue sky we saw:

The Penobscot Narrows Bridge Observatory is the only bridge observatory in the United States and at 420 feet above the river below, has the tallest and fastest elevator in the state of Maine. 

Stepping out of the elevator, I felt super dizzy. I think it was more to do with the elevator ride than the being super high up in the sky.

You could see forever and ever in all directions and while the sun would have made it much prettier, it was still a spectacular view.

After we descended from the observatory, we headed to (the original) Fort Knox...the defend the harbor one, not the full of gold one. 

The fort was incredible. 

We went underneath into the tunnels and walked, by way of the iPhone flashlight, through some scary, dark places. One hallway had more windows:

But most of them looked like this:

As we entered the tunnels, a cannon sounded. I felt like I was in the Hunger Games!

We spent about an hour wandering around then waited to see the canons fired.

Following our trip to the fort, we hit up one last lighthouse. Fort Point was quite the traditional Maine lighthouse....black, white, and red.

   

Maine Bridge Weekend: Part 1

I took Friday off so I had an extra long weekend and hit up Maine with Mom and the puppy. 

Our target was the Penobscot Narrows Bridge Observatory. But the Weather Channel told me it was going to be sunnier on Saturday (spoiler alert: they were wrong) so we spent Friday checking out some covered bridges.

The Hemlock Bridge in Fryeburg was the first one we visited. It was my favorite. The arches were beautiful and the windows let a lot of light in. 

I was nervous to drive across it but we made it out alive. The bridge is in the middle of nowhere. I was directing and my mom was driving and the conversation went like this:

Me: Take this right and go straight for 2 miles.

Road turns into a dirt road.

Mom: Umm....

Dirt road turns into a gated dirt path.

Mom: Umm...

Me: That's what the directions said!

Next, we hit up the Parsonfield-Porter Bridge. This bridge was super long and sketchy. It was all spray painted inside and as you walked across one end, you could hear the supports rattling beneath you. Obviously this bridge is a no car zone. 

Mom decided to take the long way home so we could stop by (drive over) one last covered bridge. Babb's Bridge is a replica of the original that was burned by vandals. It was built very differently from the others but was equally defaced as the Parsonfield-Porter bridge. Babb's Bridge was very dark and was quite scary to drive over.

I don't know how the bridges don't just bend in the middle and topple into the river below. It looks like it's just balanced there on the stone supports and a strong breeze would push it off! When we returned from our adventure, we took the puppy for a walk to the lake. 

The water was so still and the reflection was gorgeous. 

   

Conversations with Children: Preschool Edition

Scene: Lunchtime with preschoolers.

Preschooler A: Why do they have that lunch (i.e. school lunch)?
Miss M: Because some kids bring lunch from home and some kids buy lunch from the school cafeteria.
Preschooler S: I want that lunch.
Miss M: Well it's up to your moms and dads. They decide what you have for lunch.
Preschooler H: AND JESUS.
Miss M: side eye to me Um...really just your mom and dad choose your lunch.
Preschooler H: Yep. And Jesus. He made the trees and the camels and lunch.
Miss M: Take another bite Preschooler H.


 

School Picture Day

8:15 am - I arrive at work 5 minutes too late and miss the staff photo. Oops.

8:35 am - This happens:

8:37 am - I turn my shirt backwards and pull at the high neckline all day.

8:50 am - The following conversation takes place in 4th grade:

Student A: Miss C. What are you drinking? It looks gross.

Me: Why would you say that my drink looks gross while I'm drinking it?

Student A: It's just a weird, brown color.

Student M: Is it tea?

Student K: No, it's probably coffee.

Student A: What is it?

Me: You said it was gross so you don't get to know.

Student A: No really...what is it?

Me: I'll never tell.

11:00 am - I get my picture taken, backwards shirt and all.

12:45 pm - The following conversation takes place in preschool:

Student E: Miss C your hair looks pretty today. (I wore it down, straightened today which I never do.)

Me: Thanks.

Student H: What did you to do your hair? It looks weird.

Student W: You should fix it.

Student K: Yeah. Make it a pony tail.

1:00 pm - A kid spits his toothpaste on my hand during teeth brushing time.

3:00 pm - I get to go home!

Conversations with Children: Vocabulary Edition

Scene: MTSS group, introducing the book Chocolate Fever.

Me: What does fever mean?
Student J: It's when you're sick...like you have a temperature and you throw up.
Student R: I think Henry is going to get chocolate chicken pox and when he grows up he'll get chocolate shingles.
Me: You've been watching too many commercials.
Student A: What are shingles?
Student R: Old people get them and they hurt.
Me: Okay...how else can you use the word fever?
Student S: It's like if you go crazy.
Me: Yes. Fever can mean a frenzy...like Bieber Fever.
Student M: Eww. I hate Justin Bieber.
Me: Okay, One Direction Fever then, it just doesn't rhyme as well.

 

Things I Learned Today

• Today's full moon is a harvest moon. Apparently every full moon in September is called a harvest moon. Moreover, every month's full moon has a specific name. 

• Karma is a REAL thing. Exhibit A: Student K is flailing around in her chair upside down and kicks the boy next to her in the head. Two hours later she is once again flailing around and goes face first over the back of her chair....then to the nurse.

• Most countries don't call the number 1,000,000,000 a billion. Incidentally, this is what a million cows look like. 

• These are a thing:

• It is physically possible to go to Target with a list of three things and leave with only three things...I KNOW RIGHT?!?!

• HTML coding is not simple but Google helps.

• I can't be bothered to download iOS7. I prefer to live in the dark ages.

• It takes 20 minutes to help 11 preschoolers brush their teeth. (This is a scientific study done by myself over the course of two days while covering lunch in a preschool classroom.)

IT'S FALL!

Last week I was all put out because it was like 9000 degrees out (which btdubs is the temperature of Earth's inner core). I wanted the hot, humid weather to GTFO and the cool, breezy fall-like weather to stay forever.

Well, I'm happy to report that Mother Nature has acquiesced to my demands. It seems like all of the sudden the PYO apple signs are out, pumpkins seem to be everywhere, and some leaves are turning pretty, pretty colors (i.e. dying).

Even the grocery store is all ready for fall.

I've started to think about my Halloween costume and I'm ready for some Hocus Pocus action. I have some fun weekends planned for the fall that I'm looking forward to. After all, fall is my favorite time of the year. I mean, I know everything is dying and getting darker and colder, but it's so pretty and there are so many things to look forward to.

BUT...today is September 15th (Happy Birthday Stephen & Olivia!) and I SAW A CHRISTMAS COMMERCIAL! WTF! There are still 100 days until Christmas.

Now it wasn't a good one like the Hershey Kiss bells or the Coke polar bears but still! A girl has to be able to eat Halloween candy before thinking about Christmas shopping. 

So for now...I celebrate fall in all it's apple and pumpkin glory.

   

A Pep Talk for all my Teacher Friends

More wise words from the Kid President:

"It's like Walt Whitman said: 'YOLO'. Except he didn't say that. But you would know that if you would read a book baby! Seriously, read a book...any book...except the vampire ones."

I'm Having a Veruca Salt Moment

And not the alternative rock band type. The "I want my golden goose and I want it now" type.

Last week Mother Nature gave us a taste of that sweet, sweet fall weather. The crisp, clean air. The blue, clear sky. The hint of changing leaves. And with that, my mind immediately switched from "Woe is me, summer has come to an end" to "OMG I LOVE FALL SO MUCH. IT'S MY FAVORITE."

But it was all rudely yanked away and is about to be replaced with heat from the center of the earth.

I mean...it's September, not July. If I didn't have to go to work tomorrow I'd be at the beach or at a lake getting my swim on. 

So now I'm all "Give me pumpkins and apples and cider donuts and baking and Halloween and gorgeous foliage...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!"

*I also wouldn't say no to 10,000 tons of ice cream.