Monday, September 20, 2010

How Heavy is a Jackhammer?

Unemployment certainly has its pitfalls, i.e. no money, feeling useless and inconsequential in both space and time, and the heavy burden of filling all those damn daylight hours.

The one bright spot of unemployment is the freedom to determine when or if to set the alarm clock. However, I can tell you from personal experience that if you don't set the alarm clock you shouldn't be surprised when you are still in bed at 3:00...and yes that's p.m.

So being the responsible adult that I pretend to be, I responsibly set my alarm for 8:45 this morning with the intention of getting up, watching Ellen, cleaning the apartment, visiting a new baby mama, and entertaining a friend at my newly cleaned apartment.

I know you are thinking that you know exactly where this story is headed and I can tell you right now that you are wrong. I, in fact, did all of those things previously mentioned (although most of the apartment cleaning consisted of moving clutter into my bedroom and shutting the door...but let's not pretend we are surprised by that.) I'm all snuggled in bed dreaming of my rich, piano playing husband when I am rudely awakened (awokened?) roused from my slumber by a jackhammer pulverizing concrete at 7:15 on a MONDAY MORNING! I tried (in vain) to coerce my mind back to sleep, but alas pillows make poor substitutes for earplugs.

After half an hour of this ruckus I dragged my bleary-eyed ass outside to see what the hell was going on. (Luckily I had the where-with-all to put on some pants.) I was greeted by the destruction of my neighbor's front steps.

For about 3.5 seconds I seriously considered tossing the jackhammer into the bushes and making a run for it. I mean look how much little destruction was accomplished in a half hour. At that rate those steps are going to be there until the end of the world! (I bet they wished they had a bigger jackhammer.) So I tiredly went about my day, which turned out quite productive for a Monday.

Seven hours later I returned to my apartment to find this crime scene:

Odds of sleeping in tomorrow? Slim to none.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Amy! The joys of apartment living....uggg!! If it is not loud music, loud sex, doors slamming, or even cars starting, it's construction. You are a great writer, by the way. You paint a very vivid and realistic picture with your words.....good job Ms. Call. Look at all of these talents you have :)


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