Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Long-Winded Explanation (excuse?) for my Lack of Direction in Life

I went to college from 2000-2005. Yes, that is 5 years instead of the traditional 4…but hey I always was an overachiever! During those years I studied abroad, transferred schools, and declared a variety of majors. I entered college intending on taking classes that sounded interesting and hoped that everything would work out. In hindsight this seems quite naïve, but I honestly don’t think I ever stopped and really gave a thought as to what I was going to do with my life. Everyone always said “oh you’ll figure it out” but so far I haven’t.

As a freshman, I enrolled at UVM with an interest in photography and an undecided major. I declared myself as a Social Work major which lasted precisely 3 classes. Social work seemed like a daunting but rewarding field. During my third class the teacher was circulating and asking our opinions about the discussion topic. I gave mine and she seemed delighted and very enthusiastically asked, “that is wonderful, can I share that with the class?” I roll my eyes even as I write this because I don’t do touchy-feely well. I was taken aback by her approach and quickly decided that I was not nice and/or patient enough to be a social worker.

I was a Political Science major after that. American Government always appealed to me and I planned to pursue this until the events of September 11. I decided to transfer schools at the end of my sophomore year and went to UMASS Amherst as a Sociology major. Sociology fascinated (and still fascinates) me but I didn’t see it as a realistic career field. So again I switched majors, this time to Legal Studies with the intention of going to law school. Finally, I settled on, and graduated with, a double major in Legal Studies and Communications. I studied mostly media communications which at the time I was very interested in.

As I studied for the LSAT I heard horror stories of law school, the long hours, hard work and evil competitiveness. I knew that I had the capacity to conquer all of those things but at what cost? I ended up chickening out and deciding I wanted my soul more than I wanted to be a cutthroat career lawyer. So I left school with no idea of what I wanted or was going to do.

I love music…probably more than anything else. I often dreamed of working for a record company or a live music venue but I never made an attempt because I was told it was unrealistic. I am not the mover and shaker that I always thought I would be...and truth be told, that is what I am most bothered by because now I fear that it is too late.

So where does teaching come into all of this? I’m not sure…it almost seems like an afterthought. I’ve always worked with kids so teaching seemed like a natural career step but now I am second and third guessing my decision.

And there you have it. My directionless life in a nut shell…a big nutshell…like a coconut.

If you read this far…kudos to you.


  1. Hmmmm maybe racecar driver is the next logical step after all. Just make sure you wear a seatbelt. On the bright side, all this soul searching has made you an interesting person with knowledge on a lot of different topics.

  2. P.S. The computer just gave me the word "tater" to verify. Like tater tot you think? Nice.

  3. I was going to comment something insightful about this very thoughtful post about direction in life.. because I too feel a little directionless... but then I got side tracked by tater-tots! yum!


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