If I Were on Twitter it Would Go Like This

I don't really understand Twitter. It seemed to begin as a way for celebrities to have a 24 hour outlet for their narcissism. What purpose does it serve for us regular people? Isn't it just like an IM away message that everyone can see? And how is it different from a Facebook Status aside from the fact that you are limited to 140 characters?

My reason for not joining Twitter is two-fold. First, I don't know anyone on Twitter and I think 28 is a bit pathetic old to stalk celebrities in such a public manner. Second, because of my astoundingly busy schedule due to the fact that I am currently unemployed, my Twitter page would read like this:

Monday, October 4, 2010

1:00 p.m. I should get out of bed.

2:00 p.m. How is it possible that in four days I went from wearing tank tops to sweatshirts?

3:00 p.m. Why is there no light in the freezer? It’s just as dark as the fridge.

4:00 p.m. Is there any reason to change out of my pajamas today?

5:00 p.m. Wow! It’s five already?

6:00 p.m. Breakfast time...I ♥ granola bars and string cheese!

7:00 p.m. Well it’s just about dark…too late to get dressed now.

8:00 p.m. House is on!


If anyone has any insight into the value of Twitter I would be interested. Although I imagine it's physiologically impossible for an octet of birds to hoist a whale, I have to admit that the Fail Whale is cute!