Dear The United States,
I have a quick suggestion. What do you say to moving up the national election to next Tuesday? Or perhaps the Tuesday after that if we still need time to print ballots. It's not like everyone doesn't already know who they will be voting for. (And if you don't, what the hell are you waiting for? Inform yourself and make a decision!)
So let's just make it official already. This will be a mutually beneficial solution. We won't have to watch any more political advertisements; and you can take the millions (billions?) of dollars you were planning on spending in the next two months and send it to Chicago so we can get the teachers and their students back into the classroom.
How do we make this happen?